I "Love" Innapropriate Punctuation!

I came across this photo today on the "Blog" of "Unecessary" Quotation Marks.

The caption read:

This place is for rude women or drag queens, I guess. Thanks, Douglas.

I'd like to think that because of the quotes, the store is actually a boutique for men, drag queens and transexuals. The fact they used the quotes lets you in on their little secret. From now on when I go out on the town as a transvestite, I'll know where to pick up all of the latest fashions. HA!

The Ladyboys of Thailand

Who wants to go on vacation and party? Yep, that's it.

Nien Nunb - The Coolest Muthafucka In Da Galaxy!

One of my favorite characters from the Star Wars films that didn't get nearly enough screen time was "Nien Nunb." He's a super funny looking guy, has a great laugh and speaks some type of vaguely Asian language.

If I was George Lucas, I would make a spin off sitcom about Nien Nunb and his daily life. Think "Married With Children" in outer space. Lord knows that would be better than anything Lucas has done in the last 15 years. Somebody should really beg that guy to retire from film making.

Maybe this is just funny to me, but I've watched this clip about 5 times today and can't stop laughing:



I love at about 28 second into this, Lando says something, then "Nien" just answers with his goofy laugh. HA!

Wisdom of Wilkes: Part 12

This is great. Completely out of the blue this morning, Greg walked out of the office and said this:

"How about that Peter Pan? Shit, that little fella just wanted to stay young forever."



. . .and that was it. We hadn't previously been talking about Peter Pan, and Greg had nothing else to say about him at all. As you can imagine, I was laughing pretty damn hard!

Wisdom of Wilkes: Part 11

The FedEx delivery driver that comes every morning is from Moldova, in eastern Europe. He always seems to be in a good mood, upbeat and cheerful. I menitoned this to Greg, saying something like, "yeah he's a pretty nice dude, always in a good mood."



Greg had this to say:

"Of course he's in a good mood. He be in America now. He can roll around in his car with his fried chicken and Budweiser."

Those damn chicken lovers!

The Salmon Gaping Butthole

While walking around Carkeek Park yesterday, I came across this huge salmon in the "playground" area. Now, I'm sure this salmon is supposed to be a fun obstacle that kids can jump on, climb through, etc. I just couldn't help but wonder if any parents thought to themselves, "Jesus my boy is climbing out of a giant salmon asshole!" It's like the salmon shits children!

Wisdom Of Wilkes: Part 10

First thing in the morning when I got to work, Greg started talking about a bunch of co-workers that had gone out to happy hour last Friday. A certain young lady was brought up who was known to have "relations" with several men in the company.

Greg had this to say:

"You know that muthafucka was jealous (in regards to one of the young lady's ex's). Shit, he probably caught her fuckin' some dude in the stall, got so mad he hads to shove his dick in her mouth!"



. . .and that was the end of the conversation. I was speechless.

What Does WWF REALLY Stand For?

Smell Yo Dick

Seeing as this was added to YouTube on April 25th 2008, chances are you've probably already seen/heard this video by the "Florida club rapper" known as "Riskay."



The engineers at Fastback Studios were kind enough to share this with me over the weekend. Riskay is an exceptional artist exploring the human condition through blunt, honest exploration of sexuality.



The best part about "Smell Yo Dick," is that she is being sincere. This video isn't meant to be ironic or funny. Riskay suspects her man has been cheating, and wants to prove it by, well, "smelling his dick." Unfortunately, embedding for the video has been "disabled by request." So you'll have to just click one of these may links I have provided.

You heard it here first, there will be a collaboration between Riskay and Big Moosey. I think we may be soul mates.

Wisdom of Wilkes: Part 9

This morning Greg and I were discussing one of the young scientists that works here. She happens to be a very attractive young woman, and as Seinfeld said, "she has many qualities admired by superficial man." Translation - this girl has an amazing body that you can't help stare at. Anyway, as she rode her bike into the parking garage this morning, Greg and I stared as she passed. He had this to say:

"Did ya see that, Ben? I said. . .did yous see that? Look at that fine, fine piece of ass. She is one luscious muthafucka. That is one luscious bitch. That's the kind of pussy you keep around. You could fuck that pussy all night long, then wake up and have you some delicious pussy for breakfast! You gots your eggs, hash browns, toast, fruit and at least a couple helpings of that tasty pussy!"

THE 31 BLOGS IN 31 DAYS CHALLENGE!

Around the middle of last month, I noticed something. . .I had been averaging about one blog a day. On January 20 something (great WHY? song) I was still on pace for a blog a day. Then came the "great virus computer rape of 2010." My pace was slowed, but I came back strong upon reinstallation of Windows on my computer. The 31st blog was posted at 11:54 PM on January 31st. I did it!

My previous record of 22 blogs in a month has been shattered! Hell, the way I see it after a month of 31 blogs, I should just take all of February off. Ahhh, who am I kidding, you know I can't do that!