Vote YES on Alcohol Abuse!

I thought I would let these photos speak mostly for themselves. Boy, was I drunk on Saturday, and I think this little sequence illustrates that pretty well.

Accidental Dicking. Whoops!

I had a very eventful fun weekend full of Thai food, live rock music, haircuts, random dive bars, good friends visiting and a bunch of other ill shit. Undoubtedly though, the highlight was seeing not one, but two ACCIDENTAL DONGS! What a miracle!

Hold That Chicken!

Wow, this guy sure loves chicken. See the problem here is he might break a window out of your car, and steal your chicken, but he can't help it as he is addicted to it, absolutely addicted.

My favorite part is the middle section where he raps about chicken: "You touch my chicken, I'll beat you up!" Man, this guy is an absolute fiend - do not, I repeat do not get between this dude and his chicken! HA!

Weird Al, The Hippest Guy On Earth!

I found out today via indie music site Pitchfork, that "Weird Al" was hand picked by the band Godspeed You! Black Emperor to play the All Tomorrow's Parties festival. What the hell is going on here? When did "Weird Al" Yancovic become "cool," and chosen to play a festival that normally features the newest, nosiest obscure bands? He also sang live with The Pixies a little earlier this year, which was also great.

I for one couldn't be happier for the guy. His parodies have always been hilarious, and he's always seemed border-line insane, but in a fantastic way.

Best of luck to you Al!!!

Licton Springs Rainbow

"I don't want to sound like a queer or anything, but I think rainbows are kick ass."



This beauty appeared a couple of days ago right in our neighborhood. In fact, this photo was taken from our house. I tried to find the end of it so I could get that pot of gold (see the post below), but was unable to locate it. Next time.

NORWAY 1990

Charles Hargis and the Northern Hunger on Tour

My dear friend "Charles Hargis" is currently on tour with his "backing band" The Northern Hunger. I've asked them to send me periodic updates, and will post everything tour related they send me.

Jun 10 8:10 PM: Just hit McKin. Today was fishing, smoking, hiking, eating, smoking, frolfing, working (on the boat), smoking, eating, fishing, driving to the show

Jun 13 1:30PM: Fishing in Reno. Fishing is bitching. Playing Sac tonight with Blvd Park.

Jun 13 1:55 PM: Sent u an update email. It is gross. Just a warning.

Jun 13 1:57 PM: (e-mail reads)Broken bass & foot. Foot not actually broken, just nasty. Bass actually broken but still plays. That is all.

Where Da Gold At?

This is a great news report about the legendary Irish leprechaun. Somehow that little fella managed to make his was to Mobile, Alabama.

Here's a few of my favorite quotes from the clip:

"It could be a crackhead"

"This is a special leprechaun flute"

"I wanna know where da gold at"

Celebrity Twins: Number Three

Here's the third installment of my new popular series, "Celebrity Twins." I decided to use a "look-a-like" for my dear friend Joel. He was the first one to respond to my "twin," so I thought I'd put his up. Thanks Joel!

Also, is this a match, or not?

BUFFALOS IN ORBIT REUNION!!!

This 4th of July, legendary acoustic/comedy/pop duo BUFFALOS IN ORBIT will be reuniting in Crescent City, CA.

The Best Drummer EVER!

This one is kind of old news as far as the Internet goes. From what I can tell, it's been out for at least a month. It was only last week, however, that someone at my work "turned me on" to it. Today I received an e-mail from a "friend" stating:

Ben - The next Vague Prophets show Victor and I go to we better see this sort of entertainment, asshole. Love you.

I guess it felt like fate, and I knew this video had to be posted on my blog.

For those of you with extremely short attention spans, it start to get REALLY good at about 1:05.

Rick K. and the Allnighters - Sharp Dressed Man

Celebrity Twins: Number Two

Alright, I figured I should "poke a little fun" at myself with this celebrity thing. I've heard from numerous people that I look "just like" Jorge Garcia who starred as "Hurley" on the hit television show "LOST." I have my own reply to whether or not I look like this dude, but I'm interested to hear your feedback. Thanks.

Celebrity Twins: Number One

Alright, so here's another reoccurring column I'll be writing for my blog. The premise is rather simple. Sometimes I see people in "real life" that I think look like celebrities. I'm going to put their photos side by side and out them up for your consideration. Sound good? Great, I thought so.

Celebrity Twin Number One: Dhiman Ghosh and Erik Estrada

Dhiman Ghosh is a research scientist in the Hood lab here at my work. He is a genuinely friendly, cool guy, but I can't help but think he looks a lot like "Ponch" from the popular late 70's early 80's television program "CHiPS." So please take a look and let me know if it's a match, or I'm out of my mind. Thanks.

Shake Weight Crybaby Blowout!

Holy shit, if there was ever a video that deserves to go "viral" this is it! My dear friend "Family Jewelry" AKA "Act-julie" AKA "Jules" created this ode to one of our favorite Seattle bands Kinski. It features her working out with the ridiculous object known as the "Shake Weight," set to the tune of the Kinski track
"Crybaby Blowout." Tell your friends about this "puppy!" Woof woof!

CAMELFLAGE!!!

Thank you to my dear friend Janette for bringing this to my attention. I'm not even going to write anything here, I'll just let the product and website speak for itself. Wow, I'm speechless.




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BEFORE

AFTER



Front View

"It's Not That Big!"

A little blurry. This is what looking at this packing slip drunk would look like!

Today, I received a "little package" from "Minnie Wang." Now, this almost seems too good to be true, so I've included a copy of the packing slip as photographic evidence. "Minnie" lives in Bejiing. I imagine her/him to be a hermaphrodite with both a vagina and a small, awkrad little penis. When her parents were trying to come up with something to call her, they looked at this little protrusion, and said "mini wang, it a mini wang!" The name stuck, and now Minnie must live with her parents decision the rest of her/his life.

Craigslist Free Item Of The Day: Volume 3,682 (Or Whatever)

I haven't done one of the old "free items of the day in a while, so I thought I'd "throw one up."

This loveseat actually looks pretty nice, I just like that the heading had the word "Cream" in it and that it's a "loveseat." Somehow that sounds really dirty, and you could make plenty of jokes about it. "No Stains," the posting reads. . .well who want to make some stains with their "cream?" Gross!

Cream leather loveseat (West Seattle)



I have a small cream leather loveseat in great shape. No stains, no pets, no smoking, no tears. Remodeling to make a playroom for my son and don't need it. Want it gone ASAP.

Weirdo Beard-O

About a month ago, I shaved off my beard and now I miss it. I got a lot of shit for growing such an "epic" beard. Stuff like "Grizzly Adams,""Crazy Lumberjack," "Jesus" and "Chi-Mo." My friend Charles Hargis and I were actually randomly heckled by someone in lower Queen Anne. "Nice beards," the stranger yelled as they drove past us. Charles has also been known to rock the beard on the regular.

I want to grow it back, but now it's nearing Summer, and like may other mammals, I "shed" my hair when the weather gets hot.

See you next Fall, beard. I miss and love you.

I Found Sasquatch! Sunday, May 30th, 2010

Wow, I can't believe how long this is (that's what she said). This is a full on stream of consciousness, rambling account of my day at Sasquatch! 2010. I haven't yet written about my "Twin Peaks" tourist day that occurred the day before. Look for that action soon!


The Admiral prepares to depart

"Really, Whoomp! (There It Is)?" We had just pulled into the parking lot of the Gorge, and someone was blasting the stripper club anthem. I turned to my festival going partner The Admiral, and said, "apparently this is the official song for Sasquatch! tail gate parties. Alright, enough of this. Let's go in."

I checked in at the media tent. "Oh, Nada Mucho. . . are you Ben Allen?," the friendly young woman asked. "Yes, thank you," I replied as she put on my "special" bracelet.

I was through the security check in seconds, they opened my bag, took a quick glance, then zipped it up. "Wow," I commented to The Admiral, "we could have snuck anything in here, and they wouldn't have noticed!"


Our nice, "chill" spot near the top of the amphitheater

We walked to the top of the amphitheater. Arriving at a comfortable little grassy spot, we stared down at the main stage, where The Long Winters were about half way through their set. "Thank you, Sasquatch!," vocalist/guitarist John Roderick said. "This festival is truly the feather in the cap of the Northwest." Their set was solid, but somewhat unremarkable, so I sprawled out in the grass, closed my eyes and did a little "festival meditating"

The Admiral departed to the Bigfoot stage to take in the Cymbals Eat Guitars set. Too bad I missed it, as he described them as having a very dynamic, innovative sound. "There were elements of shoe gaze, post-rock and indie stuff in there, man," The Admiral stated. "Sometimes I felt like I was hearing My Bloody Valentine, other times it was Cursive." in other words, worth checking out.

I was still in my meditative state when The Admiral returned. "Let's listen to a few Tegan & Sara songs, then go check out Avi Buffalo," I said. "Remember, Tegan & Sara are easily one of the best dual lesbian twin sister bands around these days." After three songs of what sounded like somewhat bland, stock indie pop, I was ready to leave. "If this next song is not "Walking With A Ghost," we're out of here," I exclaimed. Sure enough, they played their biggest hit next, then we moved on.


Avi Buffalo

The Admiral wandered over to the Bigfoot, as I moved towards The Yeti Stage. Avi Buffalo was finishing sound check as I rolled up. They went right into their first number and burned through about four songs before pausing. Their music could be described as "Shins-influenced youngster indie-pop." For a band all under 21, they sure have a mature, sophisticated sound. Singer/guitarist Avigdor Zahner-Isenberg (no wonder he goes by Avi) moves like he was a snake being charmed by an enchanted flute. His spastic, awkward dancing style was a slight distraction from what was a very solid set.


Close-up perv shot of Rebecca Coleman, the super cute keyboardist/vocalist for Avi Buffalo

It was around this time that I discovered the media center AKA heaven. Immediately to the left of the Yeti Stage was a gated, isolated area reserved for us sophisticated journalists. I walked right in, sat at one of the six picnic tables, grabbed some complimentary water, fruit and chips and proceeded to shoot off the first of many tweets on the Nada account. There was no Internet access though, even in the media area, so I was forced to text updates to my wonderful editor who re-posted them for me. I would make numerous return trips to this private little oasis throughout the day, when I needed to sit for a minute and gather my thoughts.

I rendezvoused with the admiral back at our comfortable, grassy spot. On the way over, I encountered a guy in a pink, furry full body suit, a group of Power Rangers, Wonder Woman and even the legendary Sasquatch himself! There seemed to be an increase of costumes and people getting "weird" and expressing themselves this year. On the same note, there was a major decrease in ironic hipster mustaches, down 28% from last year. There were however, numerous festival goers with fake, plastic "ironic" mustaches. There were plenty of scantily clad women, lots of terrible drunks and a few confirmed sightings of folks on psychedelic drugs.


"Power Rangers, Power Up!!!"


"Yep, I'm a crazy pink Yeti, just relaxin' on the hill."

My favorite outdoor Summer music festival attendee has to be the forty something white trash drunk guy. This is the guy that takes his shirt off when completely inappropriate, gets as close to the stage as possible and dances erratically without a care in the world. It's the guy that's having the most fun at the festival, and I'm jealous.

After another short rest on our grassy knoll, The Admiral and I made our way over to the Bigfoot Stage for London "it" band The xx. The crowd was surprisingly enormous and enthusiastic. When I arrived it was like being at a Def Leppard arena show circa 1986. Girls on shoulders, fist pumping, crowd surfing and lots of inappropriate yelling. The mood shifted slightly a little later in the band's set. All of a sudden The xx's show had turned into a rave and the crowd danced while throwing their hands in the air and waving them like they just didn't care. I was impressed that The xx's quiet, intimate sound was able to translate so well in a festival setting. The band is popular as hell both with critics and fans, and I now see why. They're accessible without being cheese pop. They're electro without being a rave DJ group. They're ultra hip without coming off as pretentious. They've got a good thing going on, and will be International Superstars in under two years.


The xx

Immediately following The xx's set, about 90% of the crowd left and headed to the Main Stage where LCD Soundsystem was setting up. "Those people are stupid," I told The Admiral, "they're going to miss Girls set." I'm a big fan of the band, and was ecstatic to watch them a few rows back from the stage, all based on the LCD fans mass exodus. I heard later though, that LCD Soundsystem's performance was the highlight of many a festival goers day.


Girls! Check out singer Christopher Owens style. Pleated khaki pants pulled up high into a tucked in shirt. That's gangsta!

By this time, I was famished and decided to visit the food court. "Let's see if we can get a meal for the both of us for under $50," I joked with The Admiral. Sure enough, a "Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich," a "BBQ Chicken Wrap," and a "Small Order of Fries" cost us $26. Unreal. I also drank a $14 margarita and a few cans of $9 PBR. You have to love festival price gouging. It's like going to a Seahawks game. The Fruit Bats played the Yeti Stage as we ate our food. Honestly, I was more focused on eating than paying attention to the band. They seemed to have some enthusiastic fans though, as they were all doing the "pogo" and singing along.

It was now 8:30 PM, start time for legendary 90's indie rock heroes Pavement. We walked back to the Main Stage with the intention of finding a "chill, grassy spot." Many people had this same idea however, and before long The Admiral and I had made our way to the front of the amphitheater. We were pretty close, and as the band played the opening notes of "Cut Your Hair," I was so excited I pushed my way in even further. Then there was a problem. I'm not sure if it was Stephen Malkmus' guitar or Mark Ibold's bass, or a combination of both, but they were experiencing some major technical difficulties. After two aborted attempts, Malkmus stated, "this is fucking pathetic, maybe we should just skip that one." Shortly thereafter though, the sound guy got his shit together and everything was rolling smooth. The band played in their beautiful, loose, sloppy style like it was 1995 all over again. At various points in the set Malkmus would twirl his guitar over his head, hold the guitar up high when his strap fell off, or kick his beer over when he was either pissed or "feeling the moment." Drummer Steve West at one point stood up on his drum stool and slowly rotated around while continuing to hit cymbals. Spiral Stairs seemed to be frustrated with the sound and his performance, but I base this solely on his body language and facial expressions. Percussionist/hype man Bob Nastanovich kept the energy level up by telling stories and jokes to the crowd between songs. I still question his relevance in the band as his sole purpose seems to be hype man/annoying friend that somehow talked his way into the band. Throughout their performance, he played a whistle, harmonica, tambourine, keyboard and a small sit down drum kit.


Yay!!! - It's Pavement. Wooooo hoooooo!

Pavement played everything you'd want to hear in one of their "greatest hits" sets. From opening with “Cut Your Hair,” to Brighten The Corners’s “Stereo,” to “Range Life,” it basically seemed like a set put together to please their casual fans. Some of the more subtle moments like Wowee Zowee’s “We Dance,” stand out as highlights for me as the sincerity level seemed slightly higher. One of the great things about Pavement has always been their casual attitude, both in their songwriting and in their live performance. Along with Beck, J Mascis and a few others, Stephen Malkmus and company pretty much invented that whole early 90’s slacker/loser vibe that still lingers in indie music today.

As Pavement played the last notes of their final song, The Admiral and I made our way up the hill, on our way out of the venue. We stopped by the Bigfoot Stage where Public Enemy was smack dab in the middle of a killer rendition of “Bring The Noise.” Flava Flav paced back and forth on the stage, still as energetic and crazy as ever. “Hey Admiral,” I said, “Do you think those two tour buses back there are both for Flava Flav? One of them carries him and his entourage, and the other is filled with crack rocks and giant clocks?”

As we walked pass the “Rumpus Room” tent something caught my attention, and we suddenly came to a stop. “Holy shit,” I said, “look at that.” In the tent were probably 500 people going absolutely crazy, dancing, shaking and waving hands in the air. On stage, Simian Mobile Disco was playing a DJ set of electronic music that had the crowd going absolutely ballistic. We stood outside, casual observers to a maddening scene.


Crazy ass rave tent. Give me some ecstasy!

After about ten minutes by the tent it was finally time to depart. We walked out to the parking lot and drove to our comfortable hotel in Ellensburg, congratulating ourselves on our decision not to camp with the drunken, loud festival going masses.


Despite the fact that he's in Sonic Youth, and the re-united Pavement, Mark Ibold sill holds down a day job at Great Jones Cafe in New York. That's gangsta.

Later that evening in a divey little Ellensburg bar called “The Tav,” I came across Pavement/Sonic Youth bass player Mark Ibold. After consuming a little liquid courage, I approached him and completely went fan-boy style on him. “I’ve been waiting for ten years to see you guys live, and tonight’s set was truly amazing. I’m a huge fan of your bass playing, and I think your addition into the Sonic Youth line-up has made them a better band, blah, blah, blah." After a few minutes of my rants, Ibold smiled and said, “well thanks a lot man, I appreciate that.” A perfect end to a perfect day.

Boobies! Huh huh huh huh huh huh!

Awesome! Anyone that regularly uses the internet got to see Paramore's Hayley Williams' boobs. She was trying to send a direct picture message to her boyfriend, but ended up posting it on her Twitter account for all to see. Thanks Hayley!