Eat Until You Barf 2008

For those of us who have family far away, it's nice to be able to get together with close friends on turkey day and eat until you feel like you're going to shit yourself while puking. This year was no exception, and we had Bagel, Sarah, Joey, Donnie, Sara, Roach, Janette, Lotus and Drake all over for a delicious meal. I guess since Jon and I were "hosting" we got away with not cooking anything at all, but Joey/Sarah, Donnie/Sarah Bagel and Roach/Janette all came through with huge amounts of delicious SHIT to eat.

Before the food was ready to wolf down, we had a little jam session in the basement with Drake, Lotus, Roach and I. One awesome thing about being a kid is you have absolutely no inhibitions, and Lotus wailed like all hell on the mic, while Drake bashed away on the skins. I played some guitar and recorded some of it as it was funny as hell and really noisy. Lotus decided we should name the band "The Eagles," which I though was absolutely brilliant. I've just learned that she wants to rename the band "Alligators Kill Death Poison," which is even better!





We then got down to some serious feasting. Sara made some stuffed mushrooms that were insanely good, I could have just eaten plates and plates of those. Oh yeah, and "The Little Smokies," you can't fuck with those. . .





After grubbing down, we all sat around in a food coma, watching "The Adams Family," chatting and playing some gee-tar. We came up with a song for Drake, mostly written by Lotus called, "My Brother is a Cosmonaut." We took turns making up verses while Donnie pounded on the hand drum like a good Indian surrounded by pale face devils.



Then it was time to bring out the hamster for play time. Now don't get me wrong, Emily is fun to hang out with, but the kids were very anxious for her to come out and play. Her full name, by the way is "Fire Fighter Fire Chief Emily Squeaky," but she's casual and just likes to go by "Emily."







I didn't make a speech during dinner for fear of being a cheese-dick, but I truly am thankful for all of the good close friends I have, and that I was able to spend Thanksgiving with them. People like Victor, Jon, and Donnie practically are family, we've known each other for years, and are pretty damn tight. . .

My New Friend

This is my new pal. She is a "short hair hamster." After receiving many suggestions, I've decided to name her "Fire Chief Emily." Thanks to my friends Drake and Lotus for the excellent name! I'm sure we'll just be calling her "Emily," and only introduce her as "Fire Chief Emily" at formal events. She's fun to hang out with. I put her in her plastic ball and she cruises all over the house, recklessly slamming into walls and furniture. I'm sure you'll be hearing more stories about her soon.

Feel the Touch of Distant Goats

Here's yet another fun video/music collaboration project Chuck and I put together. For a couple of years now, I've thoroughly enjoyed the many "metal interpretation" videos you can find on YouTube. Basically kids (I'm betting most of these are made by teenagers) "interpret" what metal singers are saying in their barked, unintelligible vocals, then find funny images to accompany the lyrics. I "commissioned" Chuck to create a song so I could "interpret" the lyrics. Here's what we came up with. Let me know what you think!

Try to be more SUBTLE

Back on November 8th, I went and saw the group Subtle perform at Nectar Lounge in Fremont. Chuck, Jon and I took the bus, which was fun in itself. After drinking the mandatory beer in the alley, we went into the venue. Luckily I was on the guest list (thanks Peter), so I had that much more money to spend on alcohol.

Zach Hill (drummer from the band Hella) was the opening act. He performed a piece entitled "Necromancer" which was basically him going ass wild on drums while "playing along" to some pre-recorded music. I found myself laughing uncontrollably on several occasions. The guys is an incredible drummer, but it was so over the top, I found it hysterical. It reminded me of a late night "show" that was on the Arcata Community Access Television, "ACAT," called the "Corey McG Drum Jam." While I was in college, this show always seemed to come on at the perfect time (3 AM, while drunk as all hell). "Corey McG" was just a rocker dude with long hair that would bash away at his drums, then "explain" what he was playing, and how "you at home" could play this also.

Subtle finally came on. Although they were missing Dax (keyboard/synth) and Alexander (cello), they still had an incredible performance. Doseone (vocals/samples) was in his usual, hyperactive/spastic form. Regardless of the circumstances, the guy is always a showman with some of the most incredible stage presence I've ever witnessed. Almost as enjoyable as the music were Dose's between song rants. He told jokes, talked about being in a "not-so-nice" area of Oakland, CA the night Obama was elected and read a hysterical rider for a band no one had ever heard of.



Both Doseone and Jel are founding members of the record label/collective anticon. Anticon is also the home of Why?, who've I've been raving about so much over the last few months. Subtle's music, like Why?'s, falls into that grey area between hip hop and indie-rock. I've seen them 4 times in the last five years and have never been dissapointed. I will say I much prefer their live performance (mostly due to Dose's energy) to their recordings.

We missed our last bus home, and had to take a cab. We saw no less than three drunk-ass drivers on the way, including one guy who was swerving ridiculously between lanes. Fun times.

"If I Was a Guitar Wizard, My Name Would Be Slash"

I had a little accident while trying to replace a blade on a boxcutter at work. It didn't hurt so much, but was gaping open with some "finger meat" hanging out. Weird pieces of fat and muscle, something I could have definitely gone without seeing. My boss insisted that I go have it stitched, which was probably a good idea as it might have healed funky. The doctor was cool as hell and we talked Obama. The stitches come out in a couple of days, and I'll be back to shredding like all hell, guitar hero style.

Halloween 2008

Sometimes photos can say so much more than words can explain. That's why I've decided to just let the pics from this year's Halloween festivities speak for themselves. We had an absolutely unbelievable time performing Bear Driving Car's first show in a year. But yeah, you can the idea from all the following. . .













And finally, "The Secret Mexican." This guy was all over the place passing out hot sauce, and even leaving a little "refried bean surprise" in the bathroom. HA!

Brokeback By The Bell

I recently wrote fondly of A.C. Slater on the "Make Toilet Fun Time" blog. Well here it is, what we always suspected was going on between Zack and A.C. "Why can't I quit you?"

A Grey Apocalypse for Lady Bird

Here is the second photo/music collaboration between Chuck and I. I could try to explain what we were trying to do and say with the piece, but I'll just let it speak for itself.

WHY? WHY? OH GOD, WHY?

I'm working on this piece on WHY? for nadamucho.com, and did a brief interview with the man himself, singer/songrwiter/frontman Yoni Wolf. Check it and give me some feedback. How can I make this interesting?



What is your daily routine these days, and how has your life changed since the release of Alopecia?


We have been on tour since Alopecia was released, so our daily routine is pretty much like this: wake up, eat, travel for between 2 to 9 hours, load in, soundcheck, eat, play a show,break down, load out, go to the hotel, sleep. At home, I am a lot less busy.

Your sound has changed fairly drastically over the years, what artists or albums have
influenced your more recent songwriting?

Bob Dylan, Li'l Wayne, Eminem, Joanna Newsom.

"The Hollows" presents some fairly stunning visual imagery of some events that went down in Berlin. How much of your lyrical content is based on real life experiences?

My lyrics are a mix of personal experience, personal experience elaborated upon, other people's experiences who I know/ don't know, things I see on TV, metaphor, extended metaphor, pure fantasy, etc.

Is anticon as a collective and a label still relevant, and what has its impact been on "hip hop"
music?

We are not, nor have we ever been been relevant. That is our appeal. We are perpetually un-now and superfluous.

What level of popularity, both critically and commercially, do you aspire to?

All of it. We want to go all the way to the top in the U.S.A. We want to be the second Black President. But in our case 'Black' meaning sullen and hopeless rather than half African.

What can fans expect from your current live performance?

Mostly we just like to party. Songs. Some acrobatics and synchronized guitar tosses and light fire play, some PG13 language.

Who should be the next President, and why? (No pun intended)

You said it. The Obamanater. Barak Ata Adoni. O 'bomb' A.

Make Toilet Fun Time

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the toilets and fun, unconventional ways to use them. Why just stand and piss and sit and shit when there are so many unexplored positions and options out there. Here's a few I've been thinking about:



Number One. "THE UPPER DECKER."

AS you can tell from the diagram above, this is where you take off the toilet lid, rest your feet on the bowl and shit into the upper chamber of the toilet. You normally want to do this at someone's house that you really despise, as it will eventually start to rot and fester and smell something awful. After dropping this one on your unexpecting victim, it's fun to call them up the next day and say something like, "hey I was thinking about stopping by later, I think I left some shit at your house." Then hang up.



Number Two. "THE A.C. SLATER"

If you're as big of a fan of "Saved By The Bell" as I am, you know A.C. was a huge fan of sitting reverse in his seat. Whether grubbing down at The Max, or in class at Bayside, A.C. would always swing the chair around backwards, then plop on down. I've recently learned that if you're feeling daring, you can rock this same technique on the toilet. The only extra hassle is that you have to take your pants all the way off to avoid making a mess. The upside is you can use the toilet's lid as a table, arm rest, or a silky smooth surface for railing out coke.



Number Three. "THE DOG"

This one is a little more complex. First, you'll want to put down a towel on the bathroom floor. Then, lay down completely on your side at around 3 to 4 feet from the toilet. Unzip, and let a strong surge of urine fly, seeing if you can make it all the way to the bowl. The key here is to really lift your leg high, doggy style. This can also be turned into a fun game with friends to see who can make it in the furthest away.

Number Four. "The UPPER DECKER BLUMPKIN A.C. SLATER"

This is the holy grail of all toilet positions. If you can pull this one off, you're a god in my eyes. It takes a set of partners, so you better have a girl/boyfriend that is feeling a little "adventurous." The male takes a crap in the top part of the toilet while carefully balancing (using the wall is always smart). The female does the A.C. Slater while performing oral on the aforementioned male. So, what we're talking about here is simultaneous shitting with a little oral pleasure thrown in. How sexy is that? If anyone can show me video evidence of this ever actually occurring, I'll give them money.