Fun With Stickers

Sunday during karaoke at The Monkey Pub, Steve, Joey, Andrew, Leah and I kept ourselves entertained by rearranging the letters of our "The Vague Prophets" stickers. We came up with some really fun phrases! Which is your favorite?



"THE VAG ROTS"



"HOPE THE VAG'S PURE"



"PEE UP! HE HURT THE POPE'S VAG"



"SEE THE VAG HERE"



"THEOS VAG PEPPER HUT"

CRAIGSLIST'S FREE ITEM OF THE DAY. VOLUME 4

Ornamental Tree Stumps (Woodinville)

Free beautiful old growth tree stumps- can be used for landscaping purposes. Will remove ad when gone.

I LOVE THIS PLACE!!!

I want to attempt the old, "Singing Karaoke at The Mandarin Gate Seven Nights in a Row CHALLENGE!" Who's with me?

Delicious Hamster Snack Time

Here I am with my adorable little friend "Fire Chief Emily." Jesus, I must be getting ready to go on vacation, 'cause I'm packing some serious bags (under my eyes).



She made a good pet, but was an AMAZING snack. Delicious!

Hot Sunday Night Action

This last Sunday I went to see my pals The Ever Changing Sky and Bellingham friends Ship to Ship play at The Rendezvous.



CJ Boyd opened the show. Dude has been on tour for a year straight with only minimal breaks. He looked and smelled like a dude that had been on tour for a year. I considered offering to let him stay at my house, but only if he showered first. His music was "stimulating." He would play bass, sample and loop it, then play over the top of that. Sometimes he would do minimal, haunting vocal parts, then loop those too. The highlight came for me when he did an interpretation of the Nirvana song "Something in the Way." Apparently it moved one of my friends to the point of tears. Give him a listen.

I had to run the fucking door during part of The Ever Changing Sky's set, but snuck in to snap a couple of shots. I also see them like once or twice a month, so no big deal.



Left to right: Bryan Chapple, Danny (new guy who plays viola, which is awesome), Brian Boyle, and Niko adjusting drums.



"Play that e-bow, Boyle!!! Play something ambient, you son of a bitch!!!"

Last up, instrumental post-rock Bellingham duo "Ship to Ship." We've played with these guys a couple of times, and they never fail to impress. They were especially on point this night, and completely blew my mind. Similar to CJ Boyd, bass player Chris samples and loops himself, then will play bass lines and keyboard parts over the top. Drummer Shea is phenomenal. Sometimes he'd be playing things I thought were out of time, but then I realized he's advanced, and on a whole other level that I can't even comprehend. Needless to say, you need to check out this band!



Wow, Shea looks a lot like Adam in this pic, and wait a minute. . .is that Billy Corgan playing bass?



And finally Niko, TECS's drummer's birthday was on Friday. Joey and I felt bad for having missed it, so we picked him up a card and wrote a poem that was both racist and homophobic. Chapple was so impressed with my rendering on "N-Gro" on the card, he reproduced it on a wall in the green room. Please note the male genitilia on the birthday hat!

Peter Agoston's Excellent Adventure!

My friend Peter is on tour with the post-rap-art duo Themselves. He's working as their "tour manager" as they do a giant loop around the country going from South By Southwest (Austin, TX) and ending up at Coachella (Indio, CA). He's been sending me almost daily updates of how much fun he is having, the exclusive parties he's at, the people's he "kickin' it" with, etc. So. . .I thought I'd share them here. I'll continue to add to this, so be be sure to check back.

*** NOTE: "TREASURES" is a Vegas strip club we spent numerous hours in over my 30th weekend birthday ***


*** NOTE: "Michelle" is our mutual friend Michelle Cable, mastermind behind Panache Booking and Panache Magazine ***

Mar 14th 4:24 PM
PETER: We are in Palm Springs stayin at a crazy resort/casino man. . .wish ya were here. I'm hitting the pool bar and sauna now
BEN: Jesus, don't even tell me these things, man! You lucky son of a bitch. Did you ask the guys if they want someone to sell merch? I'll work for $200 a day per diem. HAHA!

Mar 15th 4:49 PM
PETER: In Vegas now. . .at a rooftop preparty to the show. drinkn' vodka and crans listening to house music, should be an interesting night! We drove by Treasures and my dick got hard
BEN: Please tell me you're just now leaving Treasures (text sent at 8 AM) and got some stinky stripper snatch

Mar 17th 3:49 PM
BEN:What up dawg? Woof Woof! Where u at, how r u going to celebrate St. Patty's Day?
PETER: We just drove thru El Paso. . .8 hours from Austin. . .What day is st paddy's exactly? I thought it was later on, we'll be in Austin until Sunday!
BEN: St. Patty's is today! Going to drink green beer and Bushmills after rehearsal. I suggest you do the same.
PETER: As soon as we get to the motel homie. drink one for us
Mar 17th 10:48 PM
BEN: Dial a shot? Dial an Irish car bomb?
PETER: Man we still driving
BEN: Damn son. Hit me up when you get to da motel/bar. Dial up that shot!!!

Mar 18th 4:49 PM
BEN: Make sure to check out benallen1.blogspot.com when you have the chance. I'm creating a "tour diary" for you based on our texts.
PETER: Dope. I'm at SXSW now. we did a show at red 7 earlier and the anticon showcase is at the mowhawk tonite. Themselves on at 1 AM. We drove 15 hours yest, so no drinkin'. I'm makin' up for it now!!!
BEN: Damn, sounds like an action-packed day/night. Are you going to "get up" with Michelle today?
Mar 18th 9:38 PM
BEN: "Unskinny Bop. Just blows me away. Unskinny Bop, Bop, Bop. All night and day!"

Mar 19th 12:04 PM
BEN: So, how was last night? How was the anticon showcase? Was Yoni there? I love that dude!
PETER: Super packed. Themselves slayed. . . Yoni played solo and gently slayed
PETER: There is a show review on pitchfork i hear
BEN: I'll check it
BEN: You have a huge new fan, by the way. Joey, my drummer made me listen to "Motley Crue" 5 times last night. He had tears in his eyes he was laughing so hard. Then I put on "Going Out To Eat. . ."
PETER: Hell yeah. . . so I have exactly 5 fans now
Mar 19th 2:54 PM
PETER: Themselves are tearing down the house at the beauty bar right now - best act 10 fold on bay area showcase
BEN: Fucking sick! Who else performed?
PETER: A bunch of wack asses

Mar 20th 8:11 PM
PETER: we r sitting in the parking lot listening to Metallica
BEN: Awesome. I actually liked their new album, it sounded like a cover band trying to play old style Metallica. How did today go? Any shows or anything?
PETER: One show. pretty good. I'm with dready Andrew

Mar 21st 3:40 PM
BEN: Dude!When u said u were "listening to Metallica," I imagined u sitting in the van with Jeff and Adam listening to "Master of Puppets" on CD. I just read Pitchfork's review of their LIVE performance. Duh!
PETER: Yea, we were in an alley smokin' weed
PETER: I'm watching The Bronx now. . .I hated on em forever but not so bad
BEN: I always felt The Bronx were way overrated, but I've never seen them live. I never thought they were anything special.
BEN: What are you doing now?
PETER: Gonna head over to Michelle's showcase
BEN: Cool, let me know how it goes, and say "what's up" to her for me!

Mar 23rd 10:35 PM
BEN: Yo, P.A. Give me an update. Where you at and what are you doing?
PETER: In St. Lois. We have a day off before we play here. After that 6 shows in a row.
BEN: Sounds boring! Just kidding. So what are you up to tonight? I'm drinking High Life, just got done doing trivia.

Mar 24th 12:27 PM
PETER: We're going bowling now.
BEN: Dope. Try to break 100. Text me your scores when you're done.
PETER: Peter: 126, Jel: 115, Dose: 113
BEN: Congrats on breaking 100! Any strikes?
PETER: Yeah, I had one, and four spares. Everyone else had a few.

Mar 26th 12:37 PM
PETER: En route to Chicago. . . St. Louis was OK, but sucked.
BEN: What do you mean by "it was OK, but sucked?"

Mar 27th 12:23 PM
BEN: In Chicago now? What's going down? Jon and I were listening to the old Why/Odd Nosdam split EP this morning. Good shit!
PETER: We are in Pontiac, Michigan for a show tonite. . .Tore down The Empty Bottle in the Chi last night, nearly sold it out.
PETER: There are balloons on the floor and chips and salsa everywhere in this club
BEN: Why? Are there clowns serving Mexican food or something? Let me know how the show goes. MICHIGAN!!!
PETER: We are playing in an arts and crafts fair in a huge club with monstorous sound.
PETER: No, just 15 year olds, and 60 year olds.
BEN: Rad, sounds like my kind of gig. Don't ever forget, YOU are "The Frank Sinatra of Rap!"
PETER: Thanks man. . .if only anyone besides you and CJ knew

Mar 29th 7:42 PM
BEN: What's going on?

Mar 30th 12:09 PM
PETER: Just left Montreal, driving thru Vermont now, we have two nights off. Gonna stay at Adam's Dad's in Providence, then have a week straight of shows.

CRAIGSLIST'S FREE ITEM OF THE DAY. VOLUME 3

***all original text from post except my comments BOLD in (parenthesis)***

3 BRAS - Plus Size 42D - Lady Princess Brand - WHITE - NO Wire - Clean (Puyallup Sumner)



I have 3 good condition Women's PLUS SIZE 42D Bras up for grabs... No Underwire, more like the "sports bra" or "comfy bra" style. Not really any support lol, they are LADY PRINCESS brand. I have no idea where they are from, I have never worn them, my mom gave them to me because she outgrew them and they don't fit me. (Jesus, she "outgrew" a 42D cup size. That is one hefty lady)

I have taken pictures of all of them, they are all in about the same condition. One picture is from the back, one is opened and one is normal view..Figured I would show you the whole thing before you asked for them :)

ALL FROM A PET/SMOKE FREE - Very CLEAN home. (Thank god)

You pick up, must take all, re post what you cannot use on your own.

Email for more info, all items freshly washed and always hung to dry.

ASK DR. CECIL: THE 'MO SEX THERAPIST

Yesterday I spoke to my good (and very queer) friend Cecil. You may remember me mentioning Cecil before, as one of the geniuses behind the groundbreaking gay-rap group F.A.G. Anyway, Cecil has been asked to contribute to a weekly podcast down in Humboldt, hosted by his friends "T.J." and "Chris Durant." The program is to be called: Ask Cecil: The 'Mo Sex Therapist. Cecil is an expert on all matters sexual, he knows hetero, but especially homo. He earned his PHD in Human Sexuality from Stanford in 2003. In order to help him out this first week, I let him know I'd post a blog, where you, my wonderful readers can ask Cecil any question you'd like in an anonymous format. Please start with "Dear Cecil. . ." then proceed to ask ANY question or concern you may have regarding your sex life or human sexuality in general. Then, next week Cecil will be calling in to record his first program. I'll be blogging the time/location so you can listen in and hear your deepest, darkest sexual inquiries over the air. So go ahead, ask away, and remember you can always select "anonymous" for your comments. . .don't be shy!

"BROmancing the Stone"

So last week my good buddy and bandmate Joseph "Joey" Niles and I spent a whole lot of time together. His girlfriend had left to visit family in Missouri for the week, and he was feeling awfully lonesome. Luckily, him and I are both unemployed, so we got to spend a lot of "quality" time together. Now some people may refer to this as a "BROmance," which it definitely was, but it also became a whole lot more. Between, our travels back in time, candle lit dinners, sunset harbor cruises, and long walks in the park hand in hand, we really became "acquainted," if you know what I mean. Wink, wink.



Joey holds me tight shortly after I rescued him from the jungle, as I gun down the approaching criminals. . .

You can thank Joey, the man himself for starting this most fantastic BLOG dedicated solely to our courtship. I really urge you to give it a read, as it is a beautiful chronicle of our new life together. He has since left his old lady, we're buying a house out in the country together, and Joey is pregnant with our first child. I couldn't be more excited!

It's PET Sajak!!!

Ladies, and gentleman, welcome to Wheel of Fortune. And now you're host, "PET" Sajak. . .



***Copyright Joseph Niles 2009***

CRAIGSLIST'S FREE ITEM OF THE DAY. VOLUME 2

Alrighty, here we go with round two:

NRA Magazines (Tukwila/FedWay)

I have a stack of American Hunter and American Rifleman magazine from around Dec 2007 to Dec 2008. About 21 total, a few have been given away to coworkers.

Also have about 7 National Geographic Adventure and 12 Mountain Bike Action magazines(MTB).

I am just going to toss them unless someone wants them.


Now who in their right mind would drive to someone's house to pick up a bunch of gun magazines?

It's PET Robertson!!!

***Copyright Joseph Niles 2009***

CRAIGSLIST'S FREE ITEM OF THE DAY. VOLUME 1

This is going to be another reocurring column of mine. Have you ever looked at the shit people want to give away for free on craigslist? Now, granted, I understand that it's free, so you can't really complain about the quality. But seriously, some of this stuff is so random, I find it absolutely hilarious. From piles of dirt to car windows, used batteries to old piles of wood, you can get "screaming deals" on all sorts of unwanted, useless shit.

Without further ado, here is the winner for today's first, "Craigslist Item of the Day:"



The caption reads:

11x17 Cat picture (E. Bremerton)

Big cat picture. Free. Frame is old but picture in good shape. Call to arrange to pickup.

HAHA! The best part is that the frame is garbage, so all you're really getting out of the deal is a righteous photo of someone else's cat! Any takers?

It's Nudie Magazine Day!!!!!

. . .and Bryan Chapple you're invited to come over to peruse the most recent copies of "Women over 80," "Drunk Chicks," and "Shemale Fiesta." OLE!!!!

Jobless in Seattle

After 2 years and 8 months of working as a "shipping manager," I've been layed off from my job at True Fabrications. Technically speaking, I was offered a cut in hours and pay in order to keep my job. I did the math, and figured out it would make more sense to collect unemployment while looking for something new. The company underwent some major "restructuring," and was left with five permanent employees (down from around 35 during the holidays). So, I guess I should have been honored that they offered to keep me on, when really the bank told them they couldn't afford it.

I spent last week working (under the table) teaching the receiving manager my job. The poor guy will now be working by himself in that giant warehouse. The partners in the company were living dangerously letting me go as there was a lot I did day to day that no one else know how to do.

Funny enough, the company is actually doing better this year so far in comparison to last year. It's just that with the economic climate, the bank could no longer offer us the line of credit that kept us afloat during the first three quarters.

Over the last 3 years I went from someone who was looking for a brainless warehouse job so he could "fuck around" and play music, to being the boss of upwards of 10 people, hiring and firing employees,taking business lunches with FedEx executives, creating power point training programs, etc, etc, etc. The list really does go on forever.

I'm now really excited about the prospect of being layed off. All the time and energy wasted on a "career" I can now dedicate to playing music, writing, watching The Price is Right, playing Nintendo games, and reading "jack off" magazines. Seriously though, I'm looking forward to focusing my energy on creative pursuits. I guess it's the difference between looking at this as an opportunity vs. a set back.

I am actively looking for work, (unemployment is kind of particular about that), but I'm going to keep searching until I find something that will be really excellent for me. So if you live in Seattle, and know of anyone hiring, shoot me a message.

And now, a few moments captured by photograph at True Fabrications:



This is me doing "quality control" on some of our product. You know what's funny, is my MOM took this pic.



Ahhhhhh, Jen. The 37 year old product manager MILF. . .OK, I'll stop right there!



This is Susan, the accountant, and myself in the warehouse. She gave me the best exotic Asian massages I've ever had.



I can't remember this dude's name, but he delivered our packaging supplies.



. . .and finally, the world's most perfectly stacked pallet. I was so happy with myself I had to take this photo!

CLASSIC OBSCURE ALBUMS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH VOL. 1

This is to be the first in a series of "reviews" where I pull out an old record I love, and write about it's brilliance and why I think you should know about it. A lot of these will be local acts and friends that never "made it big," but should have because they were incredible artists. Case in point, The Great Salvation. Benny Wright is a phenomenal songwriter that should be recognized on a national, if not international level. However, most likely he'll continue playing in short-lived Eureka bands.

CLASSIC OBSCURE ALBUMS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH VOL. 1: THE GREAT SALVATION



Humboldt County, a region of Northern California known more for it's hippies and "kind weed," than it's rock music. On their one and only 2005 release The Great Salvation reflect the fun-retro-psychedelic-pop popular in the area.

A Beatles influence is obvious throughout. On "Lonely Days" singer Benny Wright hits high notes that would make Lennon proud, while "Hello Marie" begins with a pretty little piano part. Very McCartney, indeed.

Much of the appeal of The Great Salvation's songwriting lies in its simplicity. "Electricity" proves that two chords and some hand claps can be infectious as hell. The material ranges from beautiful, sad ballads such as "Satellite Free" to upbeat, hard rockers such as "Sierra Leone."

The Great Salvation don't hide their influences, and sometimes you feel as though you've heard this before. However, if the bands they pull inspiration from put out an album of similar quality, no one would complain.

This record, and band are damned with the Humboldt County curse of playing local shows, releasing one excellent record, then promptly breaking up.