Heavy Shit That Blows My Mind

There's been a few cases recently where I've had my mind blown by "news" that I've discovered on the internet.

PANAMA ALIEN
First off, what the fuck was that thing those kids found in Panama last week? It sure as hell looks like an alien to me. The story goes that these kids saw this 5 foot tall beast emerge out of a cave and come at them like it was ready to attack. The kids retaliated by throwing sticks and rocks and killing it. Granted, this was a bunch of children, so the story might be slightly embellished. When their parents returned the next day, they found this washed up near the lake:





Regardless of the official explanation on what this thing turns out to be, the image of this grotesque beast will be permanently etched in my memory.

THE HUMANZEE
As you can tell by the pictures, the humanzee AKA the "chuman," is a hybrid chimpanzee/human mix. Now, I know some people that love screwing animals, but I didn't know a man had actually successfully impregnated a chimp. While looking at this thing in my office, I showed my co-worker Greg (an African American gentleman) some of the pictures. He responded with, "shit, that looks like my cousin Joe when comes out of the bar drunk." HAHA! That had me in hysterics for a good 10 minutes.





JESUS'S BONES
Remember a few years back when scientists claimed to have discovered Jesus's bones? This too, blew my fucking mind. I know it was just a box with some engravings, but for some reason the thought of the Messiah's remains struck me as some seriously heavy shit. Far out man. Far fucking out.