Don't Call on "Gay Harper!"

I spotted this sign the other night in the window of the vacant building next to The Skylark Cafe. "Who the hell is Gay Harper?," I thought to myself. I imagined people interested in leasing the building calling the number and asking to speak to "Gay." It seems to me that someone with this name would do nothing but harp on gays, obviously a huge homophobe.



Here's how the conversation would go:

Me: Ugggh yeah, I'm interested in leasing the commercial space on Delridge Way.
Gay: You're not one of "those people" are you?
Me: What do you mean by one of "those people?"
Gay: You know the faggots, the ones responsible for ruining the good moral fabric of this country.
Me: Um, actually no. I just want more information about the building. . .
Gay: Well you sound like an ass pirate, and I want nothing to do with your kind.
Me: Hmmm, alright. Well thanks, I guess?
Gay: Later you pole smoker! (hangs up phone)