Please feel free to email for address
Well, at least this guy doesn't bullshit you. . .it really is just a big fucking pile of junk.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
CRAIGSLIST FREE ITEM OF THE DAY: VOULME 8
free junk (redmond)
Please feel free to email for address
Well, at least this guy doesn't bullshit you. . .it really is just a big fucking pile of junk.
Please feel free to email for address
Well, at least this guy doesn't bullshit you. . .it really is just a big fucking pile of junk.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Saturday Night Drunk Club
Tell me, have you ever had one of these nights? You start by sipping beers in the backyard while BBQing. You get a wild hair up your ass and decide to go out to a bar to see friends and listen to a couple of mediocre bands.
The bar closes, and somehow it seems like a good idea to go "High School style" and drink in an alley. You decide you want to start a weekly "Drunk Club" where you meet up with your friends every Saturday night at 2 AM with an 18 pack of Pabst, stand around in an alley and be drunken idiots. You start a new "game" called "piss foot fighting." You stand in a puddle of piss, then drunkenly flail karate kicks with your piss-soaked foot. This game is so much fun you begin singing "everyone was piss foot fighting" (to the tune of "Kung Fu Fighting).
You end up back at your house and go for the mandatory 3 AM drunk munchies run to Jack in the Box. You come back to the house, drink more and talk absolute nonsense. One of your guests decides it's sleepy time and strips down to his boxers. The other guest argues that HE gets the extra bed, and strips down to his boxers and joins the aforementioned guest in bed. You begin taking photos laughing uncontrollably, and force your guests into "compromising" positions. Then you decided to wake up your roommate with a sexy underwear dance. The roommate is less than thrilled, then goes back to sleep. You finally call it a night, and pass out in about two seconds. So tell me, my friend, have you ever had one of these nights?
I personally haven't had a night this wild in months, quite possibly years. Every once in a while it feels good to "blow off some steam" and really cut loose. . .and believe me, I was loose. What today seemed immature, stupid, and dangerous, last night seemed fun, important and belly aching hilarious.
"Let's just cuddle, we don't have to take this too fast."
"Do that trick with your mouth again, it feels soooo good."
"You cheated on me? You whore, I hate you! No, I love you. Take me back, I miss you so!"
At the request of the individuals in these photographs, their identities have been kept anonymous. One of the young men is married, the other is considering a run for state Senate. The repercussions of scandalous photos such as these could be devastating!
The bar closes, and somehow it seems like a good idea to go "High School style" and drink in an alley. You decide you want to start a weekly "Drunk Club" where you meet up with your friends every Saturday night at 2 AM with an 18 pack of Pabst, stand around in an alley and be drunken idiots. You start a new "game" called "piss foot fighting." You stand in a puddle of piss, then drunkenly flail karate kicks with your piss-soaked foot. This game is so much fun you begin singing "everyone was piss foot fighting" (to the tune of "Kung Fu Fighting).
You end up back at your house and go for the mandatory 3 AM drunk munchies run to Jack in the Box. You come back to the house, drink more and talk absolute nonsense. One of your guests decides it's sleepy time and strips down to his boxers. The other guest argues that HE gets the extra bed, and strips down to his boxers and joins the aforementioned guest in bed. You begin taking photos laughing uncontrollably, and force your guests into "compromising" positions. Then you decided to wake up your roommate with a sexy underwear dance. The roommate is less than thrilled, then goes back to sleep. You finally call it a night, and pass out in about two seconds. So tell me, my friend, have you ever had one of these nights?
I personally haven't had a night this wild in months, quite possibly years. Every once in a while it feels good to "blow off some steam" and really cut loose. . .and believe me, I was loose. What today seemed immature, stupid, and dangerous, last night seemed fun, important and belly aching hilarious.
"Let's just cuddle, we don't have to take this too fast."
"Do that trick with your mouth again, it feels soooo good."
"You cheated on me? You whore, I hate you! No, I love you. Take me back, I miss you so!"
At the request of the individuals in these photographs, their identities have been kept anonymous. One of the young men is married, the other is considering a run for state Senate. The repercussions of scandalous photos such as these could be devastating!
Let's Play The Name Game!
Here's my three favorite names (so far) of employees at my new job:
BONG KIM: A short, nerdy Scientist. I see him around in the hall, and really empasize his name when I say hello. . ."hi there BONG!"
RYAN HANDCOCK: Haven't actually met this dude, but I like that his last name is "HANDcock," as opposed to the much more common "Hancock."
JEI LUO: Another Asian guy. The first time I delivered packages, I asked, "so how do you pronounce your name?" Sure enough, it's straight up J-Lo.
BONG KIM: A short, nerdy Scientist. I see him around in the hall, and really empasize his name when I say hello. . ."hi there BONG!"
RYAN HANDCOCK: Haven't actually met this dude, but I like that his last name is "HANDcock," as opposed to the much more common "Hancock."
JEI LUO: Another Asian guy. The first time I delivered packages, I asked, "so how do you pronounce your name?" Sure enough, it's straight up J-Lo.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Look at that Sunset. . .it's Glorious!!!
Today I discovered Carkeek Park for the first time. After wandering around on trails not knowing where the hell I was going, I found the route to the beach, just in time for this sunset. This is looking West across the sound at Bainbridge Island and the Olympic Range. Gorgeous!
On a related note, I'm almost sure this is the beach where "Laura Palmer's" body was found from the popular 90's TV program "Twin Peaks." That show, by the way, was an absolutely groundbreaking piece of television history. David Lynch is a brilliant. . .wait, this will be a whole other blog. Coming soon. . .
CRAIGSLIST FREE ITEM OF THE DAY: VOLUME 7
YARD SALE LEFTOVERS
Help yourself.
Please do not make a mess.
Thank you
"Hurry, hurry, hurry. Come on down and pick up all of the completely useless shit we weren't able to sell for small amounts of money the first time around."
Help yourself.
Please do not make a mess.
Thank you
"Hurry, hurry, hurry. Come on down and pick up all of the completely useless shit we weren't able to sell for small amounts of money the first time around."
Blogging About Blogs That Need Bloggers To Blog About Them
Not only do I love blogging myself, I love following other people's blogs that I find interesting. As I recently told my friend Jaime, "it's not like we even have to talk on the phone any more, we're like totally rad internet friends!" Seriously though, I can kind of keep up with some of these people's lives that I don't see too often. Give these a view, and let me know what you think!
Blogger? I Hardly Know Her!
If you haven't checked out "Joey's" blog yet, you absolutely have to. It's equally retarded (or possibly more so) than mine. But in a beautiful way. His first feature, "Ben and Joe's BROmantic Getaway," had me in absolute hysterics. A lot of his "features" are inside jokes among us, and therefore funny as balls. This shit is witty as fuck. Nice work, Joey!
Jaime
Like I mentioned before, Jaime and I don't see each other too often, so this is how I keep up with her life. A lot of the content is based around her beautiful, baby girl "Aubrey." Jaime is a hyper-smart, insightful friend with a great laugh and I'm glad I'm able to "cyber-stalk" her. Oh yeah, she's also a MILF! MILF! MILF!
Silver Currant
Ex Comets on Fire front man, current Howlin' Rain leader Ethan Miller recently started a blog, and thank god he did. So far it's been nothing but great fucking insight into some mind blowing music. As an added bonus, he often puts links to share mp3 files on some unreleased tunes by his various projects. Download the "Three from a Phantom Saloon" to hear Ethan apparently going through his "Elton John" phase.
Puke Till You Punk
I really don't know why I follow this one. Jemina's cute, and was the lead singer in "Be Your Own Pet." I guess I like reading her blog because she writes exactly like I would expect a 21 year old girl to talk, "like today we totally layed down vocal tracks for my upcoming solo album. . ." She sounds like a giddy kid, and I like that.
Quasi-Evil Gypsy Magic
Leah is also a somewhat new recruit to the world of the google "blogger" blog. The content's a little lighter than her previous myspace "diary-confessional" style blogging, and also damn good. So far she's written about VHS tapes, lions, goddesses and caterpillars. How is that for some variety?!?!
I love that blogging has given anyone who wants it a voice to say whatever the fuck they want. Nice work, friends!
Blogger? I Hardly Know Her!
If you haven't checked out "Joey's" blog yet, you absolutely have to. It's equally retarded (or possibly more so) than mine. But in a beautiful way. His first feature, "Ben and Joe's BROmantic Getaway," had me in absolute hysterics. A lot of his "features" are inside jokes among us, and therefore funny as balls. This shit is witty as fuck. Nice work, Joey!
Jaime
Like I mentioned before, Jaime and I don't see each other too often, so this is how I keep up with her life. A lot of the content is based around her beautiful, baby girl "Aubrey." Jaime is a hyper-smart, insightful friend with a great laugh and I'm glad I'm able to "cyber-stalk" her. Oh yeah, she's also a MILF! MILF! MILF!
Silver Currant
Ex Comets on Fire front man, current Howlin' Rain leader Ethan Miller recently started a blog, and thank god he did. So far it's been nothing but great fucking insight into some mind blowing music. As an added bonus, he often puts links to share mp3 files on some unreleased tunes by his various projects. Download the "Three from a Phantom Saloon" to hear Ethan apparently going through his "Elton John" phase.
Puke Till You Punk
I really don't know why I follow this one. Jemina's cute, and was the lead singer in "Be Your Own Pet." I guess I like reading her blog because she writes exactly like I would expect a 21 year old girl to talk, "like today we totally layed down vocal tracks for my upcoming solo album. . ." She sounds like a giddy kid, and I like that.
Quasi-Evil Gypsy Magic
Leah is also a somewhat new recruit to the world of the google "blogger" blog. The content's a little lighter than her previous myspace "diary-confessional" style blogging, and also damn good. So far she's written about VHS tapes, lions, goddesses and caterpillars. How is that for some variety?!?!
I love that blogging has given anyone who wants it a voice to say whatever the fuck they want. Nice work, friends!
Record Store Day, Record Store Day, Record Store Day!!!
Better than Christmas, Easter, and Secretary's Day all rolled into one. . .introducing my new favorite holiday, "RECORD STORE DAY!!!" It started last year and now falls every 3rd Saturday in April. The guys that started it recognized the fact that album sales are in a huge downward spiral, so why not dedicate one day every year to the celebration of music, and the people who sell it and love it?
Granted, I completely understand that at this point, I really don't have any business shopping in record stores. Most albums I buy (and I still buy a shitload of CD's) I bring home, put in my iTunes, transfer to my iPod and iPhone, then stack the disc on the shelf where it gathers dust. As much of an amazing "tool" as the internet has been for so many different aspects of our lives, the convenience factor sometimes eliminates some good old fashion person to person contact. The same goes for live shows. It blows my mind that a 13 year old, acne ridden kid in Bumfuck, WA can be a fan of only obscure Japanese noise rock, all because he discovered it on the "interweb."
Now I'm going to sound like a bitter old man here, but it just feels different now than when I was a kid. I remember saving money and going to buy Nirvana's "Nevermind" on casette, and how big of a deal that was. There was something magical and wonderous in not knowing. I hadn't already heard the album leaked months before it "came out," seen the YouTube videos, read the blogger's reviews, etc. It was a completely, beautiful innocent act going to the record store and discovering all of this fantastic music for the first time. And on the rare occasion that bands came through town, I would be excited for weeks in advance, giddy with anticipation. I had no idea who these bands were, and that made them a myth in my mind, something bigger than life itself. These days if there's a band someone wants me to go see, I'll listen to 20 seconds of a song on their myspace page, then decide if I want to actually make the effort to go see them perform.
Wow, I got really sidetracked there. I guess if I was trying to make a point with this, it's that record stores still do matter, or at least they should. I want a doe-eyed kid to go into his locally owned record shop, pick up a copy of The Velvet Underground's self titled album and have a revelation.
This year, I "overindulged" slightly, and visited 4 record stores, and bought eight discs. I also bought 4 more discs last weekend from Silver Platters, and 3 earlier this week off Amazon. Good god, I'm a fiend! Mostly I wanted a copy of the Beck/Sonic Youth split 7 inch where they cover each others songs. Those sons a bitches at Matador only pressed 1500 for the whole country, shipping 5 to each participating record store. So, by the time I went out around 2PM, they had already sold out everywhere. Shit! Now you know what to get me for Christmas.
Here's what I picked up with brief descriptions:
1. Lee Ronaldo - "East Jesus" One of the guitarist from Sonic Youth's solo albums. For rabid fans only
2. Deerhunter - "Microcastle" Possibly one of my new favorite bands. They sound like everybody else, but in a good way.
3. Hum - "You'd Prefer an Astronaut" An absolute bone crushing alternative classic from the mid 90's.
4. Quasi - "Hot Shit" Dope keyboard pop by ex-husband and wife Portland duo.
5. Pavement - "Terror Twilight" College-radio rock at its finest.
6. Lou Reed - "Metal Machine Music" The ultimate test for music lovers. Most people can't handle it, you really have to "sit and pay attention" to enjoy something this over the top.
7. Mastodon - "Crack the Skye" A "new metal" band that is actually good. Epic ass prog-metal.
8. The John Lennon Collection - No comment necessary.
Granted, I completely understand that at this point, I really don't have any business shopping in record stores. Most albums I buy (and I still buy a shitload of CD's) I bring home, put in my iTunes, transfer to my iPod and iPhone, then stack the disc on the shelf where it gathers dust. As much of an amazing "tool" as the internet has been for so many different aspects of our lives, the convenience factor sometimes eliminates some good old fashion person to person contact. The same goes for live shows. It blows my mind that a 13 year old, acne ridden kid in Bumfuck, WA can be a fan of only obscure Japanese noise rock, all because he discovered it on the "interweb."
Now I'm going to sound like a bitter old man here, but it just feels different now than when I was a kid. I remember saving money and going to buy Nirvana's "Nevermind" on casette, and how big of a deal that was. There was something magical and wonderous in not knowing. I hadn't already heard the album leaked months before it "came out," seen the YouTube videos, read the blogger's reviews, etc. It was a completely, beautiful innocent act going to the record store and discovering all of this fantastic music for the first time. And on the rare occasion that bands came through town, I would be excited for weeks in advance, giddy with anticipation. I had no idea who these bands were, and that made them a myth in my mind, something bigger than life itself. These days if there's a band someone wants me to go see, I'll listen to 20 seconds of a song on their myspace page, then decide if I want to actually make the effort to go see them perform.
Wow, I got really sidetracked there. I guess if I was trying to make a point with this, it's that record stores still do matter, or at least they should. I want a doe-eyed kid to go into his locally owned record shop, pick up a copy of The Velvet Underground's self titled album and have a revelation.
This year, I "overindulged" slightly, and visited 4 record stores, and bought eight discs. I also bought 4 more discs last weekend from Silver Platters, and 3 earlier this week off Amazon. Good god, I'm a fiend! Mostly I wanted a copy of the Beck/Sonic Youth split 7 inch where they cover each others songs. Those sons a bitches at Matador only pressed 1500 for the whole country, shipping 5 to each participating record store. So, by the time I went out around 2PM, they had already sold out everywhere. Shit! Now you know what to get me for Christmas.
Here's what I picked up with brief descriptions:
1. Lee Ronaldo - "East Jesus" One of the guitarist from Sonic Youth's solo albums. For rabid fans only
2. Deerhunter - "Microcastle" Possibly one of my new favorite bands. They sound like everybody else, but in a good way.
3. Hum - "You'd Prefer an Astronaut" An absolute bone crushing alternative classic from the mid 90's.
4. Quasi - "Hot Shit" Dope keyboard pop by ex-husband and wife Portland duo.
5. Pavement - "Terror Twilight" College-radio rock at its finest.
6. Lou Reed - "Metal Machine Music" The ultimate test for music lovers. Most people can't handle it, you really have to "sit and pay attention" to enjoy something this over the top.
7. Mastodon - "Crack the Skye" A "new metal" band that is actually good. Epic ass prog-metal.
8. The John Lennon Collection - No comment necessary.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
CRAIGSLIST FREE ITEM OF THE DAY: VOLUME 6
And now ladies and gentleman, the story of a woman and her giant pickle. I swear to god I'm not making any of these up:
Free Trophy - Must Love Pickles
Please help my legacy live on! I am recently married and moving in with my new husband. As we attempt to combine all of our possessions it is certain we will need to throw away some. This is where I need your help!
In 2004, I was awarded the pickle trophy from the Rosendale International Pickle Fest (http://www.picklefest.com/15.html). It is one of my most prized possessions and very difficult for me to part with. Unfortunately my new husband absolutely hates pickles (and the trophy) and will not allow me to move it into his house. I won the prize by shattering the pickle eating record by eating 103 pickles in one hour. The trophy stands three feet tall, is very lightweight and can fit in most cars. I am not asking for any money, just to know whoever takes it will provide a good home.
If you are interested please call at me at 425-445-5617. I work in downtown Seattle, and live in South Seattle. I would be willing to travel a short distance for delivery.
-Becca
I feel really bad for Becca. She obviously adores pickles (and this statue) to death. She had to suck down over 100 in an hour just to receive this prize, and the moment she was handed the trophy was most likely the proudest of her life. Just look at the photo of her with this thing - she's in love. Unfortunately this new asshole tyrant of a husband won't let her keep her most prized possession. I say ditch the douche bag, and get hitched to the statue! Or maybe I should go pick up the pickle, keep it at my house and give Becca weekend visitation rights?
Free Trophy - Must Love Pickles
Please help my legacy live on! I am recently married and moving in with my new husband. As we attempt to combine all of our possessions it is certain we will need to throw away some. This is where I need your help!
In 2004, I was awarded the pickle trophy from the Rosendale International Pickle Fest (http://www.picklefest.com/15.html). It is one of my most prized possessions and very difficult for me to part with. Unfortunately my new husband absolutely hates pickles (and the trophy) and will not allow me to move it into his house. I won the prize by shattering the pickle eating record by eating 103 pickles in one hour. The trophy stands three feet tall, is very lightweight and can fit in most cars. I am not asking for any money, just to know whoever takes it will provide a good home.
If you are interested please call at me at 425-445-5617. I work in downtown Seattle, and live in South Seattle. I would be willing to travel a short distance for delivery.
-Becca
I feel really bad for Becca. She obviously adores pickles (and this statue) to death. She had to suck down over 100 in an hour just to receive this prize, and the moment she was handed the trophy was most likely the proudest of her life. Just look at the photo of her with this thing - she's in love. Unfortunately this new asshole tyrant of a husband won't let her keep her most prized possession. I say ditch the douche bag, and get hitched to the statue! Or maybe I should go pick up the pickle, keep it at my house and give Becca weekend visitation rights?
White Trash T-Shirts PART TWO
Man, I was nearly shitting myself when I received this shirt in the mail yesterday from my fabulously generous friend Jaime.
FRONT
.jpg)
BACK
Based on the fact she had seen my previous blog expressing my love of gas station - style white trash shirts, she saw this "puppy" and just had to get it for me. Now don't get me wrong, I love my "Sacramento" shirt with the wolves, deer, etc, but this thing is way more over the top.
The imagery of the noble wolf, alongside the motorcycle with the word "Survivors" is just so god damn powerful. Then throw in some lightning bolts on top of that, how much more epic could it possibly be? But wait, we're not done here - flip the shirt over and there's a fucking bald eagle with the words "USA THUNDER" and a bunch more crazy lightning bolts all over the place. Absolutely timeless.
In her letter, Jaime included a description (from the place she got it) of what the shirt means:
"Like the wolf, the American Chopper almost became extinct. And now the Wolf and the Made in the USA Chopper are survivors."
Up next, I want to try to hunt down some of those Looney Toons shirts from the mid-90's. You know, the ones where Bugs Bunny and friends are all posing and dressed up like retarded gangsters? It seems like I always used to see greasy white trash bitches shopping in Kmart wearing those "bad boys." Has anyone seen any of those lately?
FRONT
.jpg)
BACK
Based on the fact she had seen my previous blog expressing my love of gas station - style white trash shirts, she saw this "puppy" and just had to get it for me. Now don't get me wrong, I love my "Sacramento" shirt with the wolves, deer, etc, but this thing is way more over the top.
The imagery of the noble wolf, alongside the motorcycle with the word "Survivors" is just so god damn powerful. Then throw in some lightning bolts on top of that, how much more epic could it possibly be? But wait, we're not done here - flip the shirt over and there's a fucking bald eagle with the words "USA THUNDER" and a bunch more crazy lightning bolts all over the place. Absolutely timeless.
In her letter, Jaime included a description (from the place she got it) of what the shirt means:
"Like the wolf, the American Chopper almost became extinct. And now the Wolf and the Made in the USA Chopper are survivors."
Up next, I want to try to hunt down some of those Looney Toons shirts from the mid-90's. You know, the ones where Bugs Bunny and friends are all posing and dressed up like retarded gangsters? It seems like I always used to see greasy white trash bitches shopping in Kmart wearing those "bad boys." Has anyone seen any of those lately?
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
CRAIGSLIST FREE ITEM OF THE DAY: VOLUME 5
This may very well be my favorite one of these so far. Unfortunately, there were no photos included:
FREE porn (Seattle)
Your loss is my gain. My girlfriend got evicted from her apartment so she has to move in with me. For reasons I don’t need to explain I need to ditch my expansive porno dvd collection before she moves in and discovers it. I have about 35 dvd’s some really good ones including Pirates I & II, Asian Lust #2, Super Hot Moms, to name a few. I need to get rid of these things ASAP. I will be up until about 3:30am tonight, ideally you can come get them tonight. I need to move them before tomorrow morning and my gf’s move in. Thanks and call my cell tonight if interested:
Corry
Comments, anyone? PLEASE?
FREE porn (Seattle)
Your loss is my gain. My girlfriend got evicted from her apartment so she has to move in with me. For reasons I don’t need to explain I need to ditch my expansive porno dvd collection before she moves in and discovers it. I have about 35 dvd’s some really good ones including Pirates I & II, Asian Lust #2, Super Hot Moms, to name a few. I need to get rid of these things ASAP. I will be up until about 3:30am tonight, ideally you can come get them tonight. I need to move them before tomorrow morning and my gf’s move in. Thanks and call my cell tonight if interested:
Corry
Comments, anyone? PLEASE?
C and C Show
You've got to check out this podcast. I'm a weekly guest on this talk show of sorts based out of Humboldt County and created by my very talented friends "CJ" and "Chris Durant." On this first show, I discussed my unemployment, how I've been spending my time, and even touched briefly on politics.
Jesus, those are some extreme beards!
Here's the guy's description of the show. Give it a listen, it's smart, witty and funny as balls:
"The very very very first one. We’re still working out the kinks and it will get better but every journey begins with a, shut the fuck up and just listen. Ben Allen and Keith Lionetti check in from Seattle and Bill O’Reilly and James Brown discuss immigration. Give us shit to talk about at candcshow@gmail.com"
Jesus, those are some extreme beards!
Here's the guy's description of the show. Give it a listen, it's smart, witty and funny as balls:
"The very very very first one. We’re still working out the kinks and it will get better but every journey begins with a, shut the fuck up and just listen. Ben Allen and Keith Lionetti check in from Seattle and Bill O’Reilly and James Brown discuss immigration. Give us shit to talk about at candcshow@gmail.com"
It's Tom PETty!!!
I am going to put an end to this "Pet" series unless someone can come up with another celebrity with "Pet" in their name. . .
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