Cursive, One Fine Band

Last Tuesday I went to see one of my favorite bands, Cursive, play at Neumos. Now, to say I'm a "fan" is putting it lightly. During their two year long tour supporting 2003's "The Ugly Organ" I saw Cursive a total of five times. Including one hell of an epic show with Mogwai down in Portland. They hadn't played Seattle since 2006, when I saw them with Planes Mistaken for Stars, Against Me!, and Mastodon. How is that for a line-up?

We arrived around 9:30, catching the last few songs of "Box Elders," who were not terrible, but easily forgettable. "Chuckles," "Joey" and I hung out in the bar during the remainder of their set and the break between bands.

Next up was Mt. St. Helens Vietnam Band. After a year of hype, I was finally going to see Seattle's "next big band." I'd heard a few songs and hadn't been all that impressed, and after the media blitz I was expecting a huge disappointment. Boy, was I wrong. "M.S.H.V.B." was technical but precise, interesting yet pop, and all around pretty amazing. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised. Their recordings and hype have nothing on their ass-kicking live show. I give them an overwhelming double thumbs up. I still wonder, however, how does a band play their first show headlining a 750 capacity venue (Neumos)? How does that same band manage write ups in numerous national magazines (including Spin) before releasing an album or being in existence for 6 months?



Last up was Cursive, and I was not disappointed. They played a perfect mix of old and new songs spanning "Mama, I'm Swollen," "Happy Hollow," "The Ugly Organ," and "Domestica." The loudest crowd responses of the night came for tracks off "The Ugly Organ," their biggest commercial (and arguably critical) success. When they played "Sierra" the audience went ape shit singing along and pumping their fists. Tim Kasher (vocals/guitar) was in fine form, tossing his guitar into the air and flailing around. During some songs it was almost as if he was giving a lecture, dramatically gesturing with his hands as he sang. After a surprisingly brief set (they were on stage for less than an hour), they returned to their dressing room.


Album cover for "Mama, I'm Swollen."

We all knew an encore was due, but didn't know what to expect. Cursive returned to the stage to thunderous applause. They did four songs, I'm forgetting one, but the other three were "Gentleman Caller," "From the Hips," (lead single off Mama, I'm Swollen) and ended with the classic, "The Martyr" off of "Domestica." During the encore I was rocking so hard I started to feel a sense of euphoria. Do you know the feeling? When the music is perfect, everyone around you is in "the zone," and you lose yourself completely to the sound, ignoring normal, rational thought. I left Neumos that night exhausted, but completely satisfied.

Orange County "Business Trip"

On June 17th-19th I went on my first ever business trip. The U.S. Census Bureau now requires submission of information through their Automated Export System (A.E.S.) for all major international shipments. That was the focus of the workshop and conference as well as International Shipping and Trade Regulations. As boring as that sounds (and it was pretty dull at times) it will actually help me with my "career" and was good information for me to learn. That, and I.S.B. picked up the tab for my flight, hotel, rental car and all meals. Outside of the conference itself I did quite a bit of exploring in Orange County. What really struck me is how close all the cities are together. I was staying in Costa Mesa, but drive three minutes North and I was in Santa Ana, a few minutes East was Irvine, just to the West was Newport Beach, etc. What would be different neighborhoods in Seattle were completely different cities in Orange County.

Remarkably, there were little traffic and visible smog where I was staying. The hotel was sweet too, with a continental breakfast, super friendly staff, and a 24 hour access pool and jacuzzi. I started the mornings with a wake up swim, and finished my evenings with a jacuzzi soak.

I suppose I could write and write about everything I did there, but this video tells the story pretty well. Hopefully the next conference I attend will be in Vegas, Hawaii, or Mexico!

Carkeek Park Tragedy

Last night I felt like doing something outside. So, I got a six pack of Busch "tall boys" and drove over to Carkeek Park to watch the sunset and drink. I thought it was a little strange I was being followed by one of "Seattle's finest" all the way into the park. Upon arriving at the main parking lot, I saw no less than 5 news vans set up with their satellite antennas up. There were also probably 10 + cop cars and a couple of ambulances. I slowed down and listened and looked to try to get a grasp on what was going down. With the window rolled down, I heard hysterical sobbing. I turned to my friend in the car and said, "I bet someone got hit and killed by a train."

Well I wasn't going to hang out and drink beers in an environment like that. I charged down to Gasworks Park where I soaked up the phenomenal views of the city, drank my beer, talked and "darrelled it up."

When I got home I googled "Carkeek Park news," and sure enough, a pedestrian was struck by a train and killed. You can read about it here, or here. This is seriously a tragic event, I feel bad for the friends and family of the victim.



Adam and Descie down at the park a couple of months ago.

STREET WALKER, TEXAS RANGER

"Coming this Fall on CBS, Chuck Norris is back. He's still the law, he still kicks ass, but this time he's also a dirty, street walking whore. It's STREET Walker, Texas Ranger!"

The Great Craigslist Experiment: Part Four

Free Surgical Gloves - Fremont

There's a couple of boxes of latex surgical gloves laying around the office here that I want to get rid of.

Also, if anyone want to take the "glove model" in the photo, just let me know. He's been lazy as hell all day, and I want him out of the office.

Take him home to clean your toilet, mow your lawn, fuck your wife, do your laundry, etc.

Any takers?



6/16/09 2:45 PM: Ad posted

6/16/09 2:57 PM: "Angel Love" replied with: hi still have ur glovse how far are u from everett?thanks

6/16/09 3:17 PM "Don Webb" replied with: Could you have the guy in the photo bring the gloves over to Port Orchard? That would get him out of the office for awhile for you

6/16/09 3:39 PM "Bradley West" replied with: hi i could use these i like to PLAY with them so call 206 618 XXXX bradley

6/16/09 4:09 PM: "Avi Taylor" replied with unused right? ;) if so i'll take em!! thanks :)

6/16/09 4:11 PM: Craigslist removed posting - took them a little longer this time!

The Great Craigslist Experiment: Part Three

Here's a post I did today:

There IS such a Thing As a FREE Lunch (Fremont)

I couldn't finish my lunch today, anyone want to stop by and pick it up?

I'd hate for it to go to waste!

Location: Fremont



1:23 PM: Posting goes up

2:17 PM: I receive my one and only e-mail from Elenor Hunter:
"Hey, i'll take it. Do you still have it?"

2:23 PM: I repsond to her e-mail with:
Come on by, I'm on N 34th St, by Gasworks. If you're serious, I'll save it for you.

2:24 PM: Craigslist flags and removes posting.

The Great Craigslist Experiment: Part Two

I was going through and throwing away some very old stuff out of my dressers, and came across two gems. A couple of pair of boxers that are used to the point of ridiculousness. There's rips, holes, stains, the whole deal.

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to put them on craigslist and see what kind of responses I'd get. I'm more excited about this than I was the horse dentures!

Here's my posting exactly as it appeared on craigslist:

Free to a Good Home - "Gently" Used Boxers (Northgate)

I've got a couple of pair of boxes laying around the house I'm trying to get rid of. One pair has two holes in the crotch and substantial wear around the elastic waist band area. The other pair have a few holes and some small speckles of white paint. Nothing a little stitching, cleaning and TLC couldn't fix.

I'll probably throw them out unless someone wants to swing by and pick them up - I'll even deliver if you're in the area.

* Location: Northgate
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests






UPDATE 6/15/09 10:30 PM: The post was flagged and removed after 1/2 hour, but I did get one response:

Tom Durnell: I am laughing my head off reading your posting...I haven't read humor that original and biting in years!

He then followed up this morning with:

I forwarded your posting (which I copied before it was flagged) to about 10 of my friends...It could become the next viral sensation! I have already heard back from a friend in Eugene who himself posted an offering of a Hobo Spider which he "couldn't bear to kill". Got email threatening bodily harm from multiple sources. Called him everything from "cruel" to "dangerous". Some folks got no sensayuma!

UPDATE 6/16/09 12:24 PM: I've reposted, slightly changing the title. Let's see how long it lasts, and if I get responses.

UPDATE 6/16/09 1:17 PM: My posting was removed AGAIN by craigslist, only 1/2 hour after it was posted. This experiment is over, I give up!

Save It For The Podcast

Please check out this podcast. I know I've plugged these bitches before, but their show is really coming along. They're up to 6 episodes now, and it keeps getting better. The brilliance of their show lies in their lack of preperation. Basically two dudes crack beers, toke a little dope, then just shoot the shit for 45 minutes. The content is far reaching, from fucking Paris Hilton, George Michael's talent, Marijuana, Reggae music, Christian Bale's Batman voice and all other types of ill shit. They also have weekly call in guests, ocassional music and some major homosexual tension. Listen for my cover of Madonna's "La Isla Bonita" at the end of Episode 6.



When they started the show a few months back, they looked like this.



Now that they're big, famous blog stars, they're looking a little different, but equally as handsome.



Here's Chris doing his favorite thing in life - wrapping his hands around a giant cock. Wow, look at that beard - this man is a "professional journalist" for the largest paper in circulation in Humboldt County and he looks like a half-crazed homeless dude or some type of psychotic lumberjack. Go figure.

Ball Sac-ramento Fun!

A couple of weeks ago I went down to Nut-Sacramento to surprise my Mom on her last day of teaching school. She was retiring after 32 years, so this was kind of a big deal. Amazingly, she truly was surprised when I arrived at the school with my bros, Andy and Pete. Over the next few days we went to the movies, went out for Thai food, had a big retirement party for her (including tequilla-fueled dancing) and did a bunch of other dorky family shit.



Waiting for the kids to get on the bus on my Mom's last day

The highlight for me though was our day spent at "Scandia Family Fun Center." And, oh boy did we have fun. My brothers an I were reduced to giggling 13 year old idiots as we attempted to get kicked off every attraction. First was the go-karts, where we abused the "no bumping rule" and were knocking the hell out of little kids. At first just I was banned, but by Andy and Pete's fourth round, they too had been kicked off. Next up was the bumper boats. Between spraying the hell out of the attendant, splashing each other, and swearing at loud volumes, all three of us also managed to get kicked off. It only took two rounds. Then we played some games in the arcade, did 18 holes of mini-golf and generally acted like fucking idiots. Fun family day!



It looks like I'm pissing all over Pete. Oooooh, possible new nickname for him "Pissed on Pete."



Andy got me got with the water cannons, I was wetter than a 12 year old girl at a Jonas Brothers concert!



Mini golf. We're in "Lillehammer, Norway" at this point.



New high score on "King Hammer." Look at all the tickets I won!



I used the tickets to buy this bitchin' Ninja sword. After about 7 minutes, I got sick of carrying it and gave it away to a little kid.

My Adviser and Me: A Work of Erotic Fiction

The following short story is very loosely based on true events relayed to me by a close friend. I was so excited and inspired upon hearing this tale, I decided to "embellish" it a little and pretend I was writing a letter from her perspective to Penthouse's Forum:

It was my second semester at WWU. Being slightly older than the majority of the student body, I hadn't made all that many acquaintances. Brian, my adviser was always exceptionally friendly and helpful, and not so bad looking for a man of 53. One day while going over classes for the upcoming semester, he paused and looked deep into my eyes, "you know Joanna, you're so bright and full of potential, I'd like to offer you a project to earn some extra credit this semester. What do you say we meet up for a drink at The Beaver Inn and go over details?" This took me slightly by surprise, but anxious to earn a few credits, I agreed to meet him.

I arrived at The Beaver at 7:00. Brian was running late so I ordered up my usual glass of Merlot. Around 7:20 Brian finally rolled in. "Oh god, sorry, I got caught up talking with Melinda, that fat ass, high maintenance bitch from Intro to Mass Media," he said. "It's totally fine, don't worry," I replied. "So I really want you to dig deep into this project, you can earn up to 4 credits depending on your output." "That sounds great," I said. "I want to earn those credits, and will do almost anything." At this last comment, Brian's eyes lit up as he gazed at me longingly.

Over the next half hour we talked specifics, what I would need to research, report and present. As he was wrapping it up, Brian said, "you know Joanna, you are a gorgeous woman, you must have a boyfriend?" "Uhhh, I haven't really lived here that long and haven't had the opportunity to meet many people yet. . .so, the answer on that one is no." After that we carried on and made small talk for the next hour. I was hitting the sauce pretty hard, and by the time we left was 6 glasses of Merlot and two shots of Jack Daniels deep. "How about we go back to my place and have a few more drinks," Brian asked. Slightly buzzed, I replied, "yeah, sure why the hell not?"

As soon as we walked in the door, Brian slammed it shut and leaned into kiss me. "Woah, woah, woah," I said. "This is weird, I barely know you and you're my professor." "Doesn't it feel right? I've noticed you checking me out during class," he replied. "Well, yeah I'm attracted to you, but I don't think we should. . ." At that Brian leaned in and kissed me, this time I didn't resist. We started making out our tongues twisting in each others' mouths. Brian reached up and began to remove my blouse. I was overwhelmed with passion, and feeling pretty buzzed, was helpless to his advances. He began playing with my breasts rubbing and gently squeezing my nipples. We rushed to the bedroom, knocking over a lamp in the process. I knocked him down on the bed, straddling his chest. "I want your cock in my mouth," I moaned as I hurriedly unbuttoned and pulled off his pants. I'd never been with someone so old and was surprised when certain parts were a bit more wrinkly and saggy than I was used to. Regardless, I went down on him and went for my what I consider my specialty - blow jobs of epic proportions. "Oh Jesus, that feels good," he muttered. "I want you inside me," I replied. I tore off my pants and straddled his throbbing member with my soaking pussy. "Oh god yeah, that's good," I said as his dick went inside me. I started bucking away wildly, full on cowgirl style. Suddenly Brian flipped me over on to to my hands and knees. He got behind me and rammed his old man meat deep. "Oh yeah, like that," I screamed nearing climax. "Fuck me, fuck me hard," I yelled as I came on his cock. Brian wasn't far behind. "Ahhhhh, I'm going to cum," he said. He pulled out and spilled his seed all over my back.

"Well, it looks like you'll be earning those extra credits quicker than you thought," Brian joked. We collapsed on the bed laughing like hell. I fell asleep in Brian's arms that night. What I thought was an innocent meeting regarding school had turned into one of the most savage, fierce sex romps of my life.

MASTURBATORS OF THE UNIVERSE

"Cumming soon to a theatre near you. The epic saga of a man and his long, thick, stiff sword battling the forces of evil. He-Man and The Masturbators of the Universe!"

Craigslist Free Item of the Day: Volume 9

Nightingale Extra adult diapers / bedside commode (Marysville)

I have a brand new(used 3 time) bedside commode. You can either use it bedside or set it up above the toilet with a splash guard/guid so the person using it does not need to be lowered to the toilet seat.

I also have about 1 ½ packages 20-30 of Nightingale Extra adult diapers size Small/Medium.

If this ad is up the item is available DO NOT ASK. Let me know when you can be here (by the Marysville Pilchuck High School) or I will not respond.

First to be here gets it.





I haven't done one of these in a while, but I was thrilled to find this one today. I'm seriously contemplating going to pick up the adult diapers. Going to the bathroom takes up so much of my valuable time. I would love to be working hard, delivering packages and just let my bowels loose, really push it out like an infant.

And look at that "bedside commode." No more having to get up in the middle of the night, simply roll over and piss and shit to your heart's content!

Or, perhaps I can throw a "Depends Party," where everyone binge drinks and sees who can piss themselves first. Who wants to come?

Bellingham Episode III: The Final Chapter

I know, I know. . .I've already had two blogs about my little weekend jaunt up to "B-Ham." I hadn't really planned on posting anything else, until I went through this folder of photos today and started laughing so hard I soiled my pants.



Adam ramming a drum stick right up Joey's hungry asshole. Yummy.



I think I may need to write a letter to Bellingham's city council. There was a major lack of public restrooms downtown, so Joey and I were forced to poo poo in a business's doorway.



I got a little "randy" at the bar. Luckily, Joey was hungry for cock, and took my throbbing member in his mouth.



Repping the "Pubic House." Luckily my little buddy is only 4'3 and weighs 60 pounds, so I was easily able to hoist him up.



I'm not sure if Timmy is puking from the alcohol or the sight of Joey's "little worm" inches from his face.



Funny story about this one, see the cops in the background? Apparently a car had just rammed into a pedestrian killing them on impact. At the time, however we were drunk and oblivious, yelling, waving and acting the damn fool. . .oh yeah, and Timmy was fucking the parking meter!