Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Richard Gere and The Gerbil



I finally finished a new Big Moosey song entitled, "Richard Gere's Paper Towel Tube." I wrote the thing like 4 or 5 years ago. The thought of someone shaving, de-clawing, then lubing up a little gerbil and ramming it up their ass struck me as outlandishly hilarious. Especially as the aforementioned act was committed by a popular 80's douche bag actor. I wonder if he took his paper towel tube into the pet store, and shopped around, trying out various gerbils until he found one that fit perfect.



I recorded it on this fucking sweet new app for my iPhone called "I am T-Pain," which lets you record your vocals in auto tune over pre-programmed beats. It literally took like 5 minutes to record. I'm having a little difficulty with posting the song anywhere, but I'll add a link as soon as I figure it out. Or if you'd like, I'd gladly e-mail it to you.

Here's the back story. Whether or not all of this is true is up for debate. What do you think?

Several years ago, Richard Gere was admitted into the emergency room of a Los Angeles hospital with a foreign object lodged in his rectum. Some say Gere was alone when he arrived, others say he was accompanied by a friend (e.g., former love interest Cindy Crawford). In any case, an x-ray was taken and it was determined that the foreign object was a gerbil (either alive or dead, depending on who tells the story). Mr. Gere was rushed to surgery, where it took an entire team of doctors to extract the animal from his behind. Some variants say the gerbil was found to have been shaven and declawed; others claim the animal had been placed in a special plastic pouch. Still others insist the poor creature was Gere's own beloved pet (appropriately named "Tibet" in this variant). In any event, when the gerbilectomy was done the medical team was sworn to secrecy — unsuccessfully, we must conclude — and Gere went on his merry way, suffering no permanent harm other than to his reputation.

51 comments:

Unknown said...

Not a shred of evidence has ever been unearthed to prove it. And while Gere himself has never confirmed nor denied it — indeed, he rarely speaks of it at all — neither have any credible witnesses come forward in the twenty-odd years this story has been in circulation offering firsthand testimony to back it up.

Ben said...

T.J. HAHAHAHA! I know, I read that same thing. I wish I wouldn't have, though, as the fantasy of the situation is so much better than reality.

Unknown said...

isnt there something about holding a flame behind the gerbil so it crawls up into richards gapping ass.

Ben said...

Lucas - What is that called? Is it something like where you shoot the gerbil out of your ass canon style? That would be sweet.

Juliepop said...

Is that Fire Chief in the tube???

Ben said...

No, no, it's not the fire chief, but it looks a lot like her. Maybe it's her relative?

Anonymous said...

I visited several web sites however the audio feature for audio songs existing at this website is really wonderful.
My site - www.examiner.com

Anonymous said...

This is my first time pay a quick visit at here and i am
in fact pleassant to read all at one place.
My web blog :: ace of spades

Anonymous said...

I always used to read piece of writing in news papers but now as I am a user of
net so from now I am using net for articles, thanks to web.
Feel free to surf my page ; http://porcine.com/ftp/logs/access_log

Anonymous said...

Do you have a spam problem on this site; I also am a blogger, and I was wanting to know your situation;
we have created some nice procedures and we are looking to trade methods with
other folks, why not shoot me an e-mail if
interested.
Feel free to visit my web blog action figure therapy honey badger

Anonymous said...

When someone writes an post he/she maintains the idea of
a user in his/her mind that how a user can understand it.
Therefore that's why this article is amazing. Thanks!
My website :: http://lineagezero.com/xe/20921

Anonymous said...

Touche. Solid arguments. Keep up the amazing effort.
Here is my web site :: hotmail account

Anonymous said...

Everything is very open with a clear clarification of the
issues. It was definitely informative. Your website is very useful.
Thanks for sharing!
Here is my blog : www.palmantics.com

Anonymous said...

I read this piece of writing completely about the
resemblance of most recent and previous technologies, it's awesome article.
Have a look at my homepage - hotmail uk sign up

Anonymous said...

I always spent my half an hour to read this blog's articles everyday along with a mug of coffee.
my website > grafchita.ru

Anonymous said...

Excellent site you have here but I was wanting to know if
you knew of any message boards that cover the same topics discussed
in this article? I'd really like to be a part of online community where I can get feedback from other experienced individuals that share the same interest. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Many thanks!
Also visit my blog - http://kaushiknarasimhan.blogspot.ca

Anonymous said...

After looking over a handful of the blog articles on your blog, I really like your technique of
blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark site list and will be checking back soon.
Please check out my website too and tell me your opinion.
Look into my blog post vullunfestuc.cat

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure where you're getting your info, but great topic.

I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more.
Thanks for magnificent info I was looking for this information for my mission.
Also visit my webpage ... ad aware

Anonymous said...

It's actually a nice and useful piece of information. I'm satisfied that you simply shared this helpful info with us.
Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
Have a look at my page :: address finder by phone number

Anonymous said...

I was wondering if you ever thought of changing the page
layout of your website? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.
But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better.
Youve got an awful lot of text for only having
one or two pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?
Feel free to visit my blog :: ac dc black ice

Anonymous said...

Excellent pieces. Keep posting such kind of information on your page.
Im really impressed by your site.
Hi there, You've performed an incredible job. I'll certainly digg it and in my opinion suggest
to my friends. I'm sure they will be benefited from this website.
Here is my page ... acorn charm

Anonymous said...

I am truly grateful to the owner of this website who has shared this impressive
post at at this time.
My web site ; aau Basketball rankings

Anonymous said...

I used to be recommended this web site via my cousin. I am now not certain whether or not this submit
is written via him as nobody else realize such specific approximately my trouble.
You are wonderful! Thanks!
My blog post ... buy cheap meratol

Anonymous said...

WOW just what I was looking for. Came here by searching for acoustic guitar capo
My page :: buy cheap meratol

Anonymous said...

Pretty component of content. I just stumbled
upon your website and in accession capital to assert that
I get in fact loved account your weblog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing on your feeds and even I fulfillment you get right of entry to consistently quickly.
Also visit my page access numbers

Anonymous said...

What i do not realize is in truth how you are now not
really a lot more neatly-preferred than you may be right now.
You are very intelligent. You realize thus considerably relating to this subject, made me personally believe it
from numerous various angles. Its like women and men
aren't fascinated until it's one thing to do with Girl gaga!
Your own stuffs nice. At all times care for it up!
Feel free to visit my web-site : hotmail.com.au

Anonymous said...

Magnificent website. Plenty of helpful information here. I'm sending it to a few pals ans additionally sharing in delicious. And of course, thanks in your sweat!
Here is my page ... hotmail.es sign in

Anonymous said...

Great information. Lucky me I came across your site by chance (stumbleupon).
I've book-marked it for later!
Feel free to visit my blog - actors who died in 2010

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your info. I truly appreciate your
efforts and I am waiting for your further post thank you
once again.

My website - abcd

Anonymous said...

I know this site offers quality depending content and other material, is there any
other site which gives such things in quality?

my homepage: acne scars treatment at home

Anonymous said...

Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins to safeguard against
hackers? I'm kinda paranoid about losing everything I've worked hard on.
Any tips?

My web-site adoption agency in florida
Also see my page :: acorn romeo shoes

Anonymous said...

When talking around metal roofing company, one December 15 date I
had mentioned previously? These will be attached to the ceiling the criteria for selecting a roofing contractor.


My website ... commercial metal roofing

Anonymous said...

They also can reference for many of the local builders and developers.
All You're The Builder This gorgeous, modern kitchen is a great way to get it done right. Use MS Word or a similar program to create an indexed manual grouped by a home builders in tennessee you may want to run your own business.

Here is my web blog :: home builders in tn

Anonymous said...

A home builders in tennessee is one of the houses that Birling Grange has for those who
wish to use their own resources for parts of a project if not settled by the parties.

What is great about a hiring a home builders in tennessee and how you exactly want your design to show.
Later, you may need some sort of track record of success behind them because without success, their business
would not have a statewide home builders in tennessee license.


Here is my site: tennessee custom home builders

Anonymous said...

Design-Build Another common bidding process is the design-bid-build method, home builders in tennessees deliver their complete bid
documents, along with framing of rooms upstairs. They understand not only the townhomes, but also their commitment to great architecture, and
home care tips. Now, if you do decide to get a job done as well as some of
the work, but they still want a home that's attractive and comfortable. Home is Where the Heart Is; Live Holiday StyleHoliday Builders, ranked one of the eight approved US Treasury Public-Private Investment Programs PPIP.

My website: home builders in tn

Anonymous said...

Incredible points. Great arguments. Keep up the
amazing spirit.

Review my site live hotmail

Anonymous said...

First of all I would like to say fantastic blog!
I had a quick question which I'd like to ask if you don't mind.
I was interested to know how you center yourself and clear your mind
prior to writing. I've had a hard time clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out. I do enjoy writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes tend to be lost simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations or hints? Appreciate it!

Here is my web blog ... custom squeeze page design

Anonymous said...

I just like the valuable information you supply to your articles.

I will bookmark your blog and test once more right here regularly.
I'm rather sure I will learn lots of new stuff proper right here! Best of luck for the next!

My site ... http://www.pendragonphoto.com/2009/06/21/in-montmagny

Anonymous said...

obviously like your web-site but you have to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts.
Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding
it very bothersome to tell the truth on the other hand I will surely come back again.


Also visit my web site live hotmail

Anonymous said...

It's really a great and useful piece of info. I am happy that you shared this useful information with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.

Also visit my web-site; massablogi.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

A fascinating discussion is worth comment. I think that
you should publish more on this issue, it might not be a taboo matter but generally
people do not discuss these topics. To the next! Cheers!
!

Look into my web page :: custom landing page

Anonymous said...

Niсe ροst. I leаrn sοmething new and challenging
on websіteѕ І ѕtumblеupon evегyday.
It's always exciting to read articles from other authors and use a little something from other sites.

my page: hotmail correo iniciar sesion

Anonymous said...

Attractiѵe сompоnent of content. I just
stumblеd uрon your web sіte аnd in
acceѕsіon сapital to say that I aсquire actually lovеԁ accоunt yоur weblog posts.

Аny way I'll be subscribing on your augment or even I achievement you get right of entry to constantly quickly.

my webpage abrir cuenta facebook

Anonymous said...

Do уou haνе а spam problem on thіs
sіte; Ι also am a bloggeг, and I waѕ
curiouѕ about your situаtion; mаny of us havе deνelopeԁ some nicе pгocedures
аnd wе are lοoκing to sωap solutiοns wіth other folks,
whу nοt shoot me аn еmаil if intеreѕted.



my wеb-site: facebook cuenta gratis

Anonymous said...

Hi, іts good aгtiсle about media print, wе all know media is a wonderful sourсe of data.


Feel free to ѕurf tо my ωeb-site Crear Facebook Gratis

Anonymous said...

Vеrу descгiptive article, I enϳоyed that a lоt.
Will therе be a paгt 2?

Hегe iѕ my sіte ...
http://waterman666.pixnet.net/

Anonymous said...

My codeг is tгying to pеrѕuade me to movе tо .
net from PНP. I hаve alwayѕ dislikеd the ideа becausе of the exρеnѕeѕ.

Βut he's tryiong none the less. I'vе been using
Movable-typе on ѵariοus websites for about
а уear and am conсerned аbout switching tο anothеr plаtform.
I haѵе heard еxсellent things about blogengine.
nеt. Іs theгe а way I cаn transfer all my wordpress рoѕtѕ
into it? Any κinԁ of help ωoulԁ be greаtlу
appreciated!

My blog: blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Thіs is а topic that's near to my heart... Cheers! Exactly where are your contact details though?

Also visit my website - crear facebook

Anonymous said...

An outstanding share! I've just forwarded this onto a colleague who has been doing a little homework on this. And he actually ordered me lunch because I discovered it for him... lol. So let me reword this.... Thanks for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending the time to talk about this issue here on your website.

Also visit my homepage hotmail email account

Anonymous said...

It gives off a link farm/poor quality directory/paid link
operation type vibe which is not just a casual accessory.
The most significant advantage is important and will lead to backlinks to your website
at minimal cost. HeadersNow, what do you do
if you home improvement finance have not hired a professional for SEO.


my site ... home improvement neighbor (homeremodelinglombardil.com)

Anonymous said...

I leave a comment when I appreciate a article on a website
or I have something to add to the conversation. It's a result of the
sincerness displayed in the post I read. And on this post "Richard Gere and The Gerbil".

I was moved enough to drop a comment ;-) I do have a couple of questions for
you if you don't mind. Could it be just me or do some of these remarks appear as if they are left by
brain dead visitors? :-P And, if you are posting at additional online social
sites, I would like to follow you. Would you list every one of all your
shared sites like your linkedin profile, Facebook page or
twitter feed?

Also visit my blog :: gold ira ()