Today is my hamster and good friend Fire Chief Emily's first birthday. Technically she's 1 and some change, as she was "around 2 weeks old," when I brought her home. But, today is the day she moved in to my house.
Over the last year she's brought a lot of joy to my house. Whether it was rolling around in her ball, getting pet by dozens of friends, being shoved up asses or drunkenly screamed at while completing "time trials" on the "Ham-Track" at 4 AM, she has truly become a loved friend and roommate.
So, for her birthday, I figured I'd do the "usual" and shave her bald, lube her up and send her up the ol' paper towel tube deep inside my anus. Then I thought a little more about it. How is that fun for her? If anything, I should be shoving something up HER ass for her birthday. So, I found a small plastic straw and an even smaller tiny ant. With a little push and a lot of lube, I inserted the straw into her tiny anus and let the ant start crawling up. A look of shock broke across "F.C.E.'s" face as the ant entered her. Fire Chief squirmed with pleasure as the ant deeply penetrated her cavity. After about 7 minutes the ant crawled out and I promptly bludgeoned it with my fist. I withdrew the straw and returned my precious little friend to her house.
Now you tell me, can you think of a better birthday gift for a pet hamster?
1 comment:
HAHAHAHAHA! You are one sick puppy...and this is why I heart you.
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